Safe Haven
by 123me
Summary: She'd been taught at a young age that people will hurt you, and that exceptions to that rule were rare, so she'd chosen to not let anyone in. Some people just refuse to be kept out. Semi AU. Beca/Jesse
1. Chapter 1

**I've had a rough outline for this story for years, actually started writing it for another fandom at one point, but I felt that it didn't really work with the characters, so I kind of put it on the backburner and forgot about it. I'm glad I did, because it works so much better with these characters.**

* * *

" _I don't want to go."_

" _Baby, you have to. It's what the judge decided."_

" _I DON'T WANT TO."_

" _Won't it be nice to see your dad?"_

" _If we don't want to go, I don't think we should have to. It's not fair that no one asked us."_

 _Beca nodded defiantly in agreement with the lesser heard voice of reason found within their home - Brandon._

" _It's good for you to spend time with your father."_

" _No it's not" Beca scowled. "I don't want to go."_

" _I'm sure your dad would be very sad to hear that, Rebeca."_

" _I don't care." She spat. "He's not a good dad."_

" _He tries."_

" _NO HE DOESN'T."_

 _They hear a car horn from outside, and the little girl's complaining ceased, her eyes trained on the ground._

" _That'll be your dad." Her mother sighed. "He's come all this way to pick you up, you will be good."_

" _Don't worry mom." She looked up to her older child. "I'll look after her."_

A hand on her arm startled her, and she shook off the memory to meet her brother's gaze.

"You spaced out for a second." He smiled softly. "Where did you go?" He frowned at her hesitation, but didn't ask again. "So, how are you liking college?"

"It's different." She admitted. "It's weird being away from home."

"Awesome, though, right?" Brandon grinned. "Freedom at last."

"It's college." She shrugged. "It's just school with dorms."

"Only if you don't let yourself experience it."

"Not interested."

"Bec," He laughed. "You might like it."

"Unlikely."

"You'll have fun." He insisted, letting a brief silence take over before addressing the real reason he had asked her to meet him for lunch. "Dad says you haven't been over to his place at all since you moved here."

"I don't need to." She reasoned. "I see him on campus all the time."

"Bec." Brandon started. Her piercing gaze moved to meet his and he knew not to push her on this. Their dad had been a sensitive topic for her for years now. She never had quite managed to forgive him despite how much they both knew she wanted to. "So," he decided a subject change was probably for the best. "Are you going to give me a tour?"

"You want me to give you a tour of your own college?"

"You've got to know some things about this place that I don't."

"If that's true then you're the one that needs to get out more." She stood up, having finished eating minutes before. "Could you eat any slower?"

Brandon looked down at his almost empty plate before glancing back up at her. "Could you actually taste your food for once?"

"Dumbass."

"Loser."

"Moron." Beca shifted expectantly from foot to foot, glancing warily around as the room started fill with college students. The exact situation she had been trying to avoid when she had asked her brother to meet her earlier than most would consider a reasonable lunch time. She should have remembered that he was a slow eater.

"Chill, Bec." Brandon stood. "They're just people."

She rolled her eyes and began walking towards the exit, and he followed behind her, falling into step with her as they got outside.

"So." He grinned. "How's the boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"I'm not sure how I feel about you having a fuck buddy."

She turned on him. "What the hell!"

"You don't honestly expect me to believe that _Beca Mitchell_ has a friend?!"

"He's a colleague. I have a colleague." She noted, turning and beginning to walk again. "Why would you think boyfriend would be more likely than friend?"

"You know," Brandon shrugged. "You and guys..."

"What about me and guys?"

"You're never really just friends with them..."

"Being anything with anyone is a huge mistake. They hurt me, or I hurt them, that's how it works."

"It doesn't have to be."

"It does." She retorted. "People hurt you. Always. It's a known fact."

"Have I ever hurt you?"

"You're my brother, Brandon." She sighed. "It's not the same."

 **-SH-**

" _I'm sure it can't be that bad, Rebeca."_

 _She glanced up to see her father's eyes on her in the rearview mirror as he waited for the lights to change._

" _She didn't want to come." Brandon commented from his seat next to their father. "Begged mom not to make her."_

" _Why didn't you want to come, Bec?"_

" _You know why." Brandon shrugged, turning his attention back to his gameboy. "I won't cover it up again dad."_

" _It won't happen again." Dr. Mitchell assured. "I promise Bec, it won't happen again."_

 _Beca looked down again as her brother once again responded in her place. "You said that last time. And the time before that."_

He made a lot of promises, her father, and she'd learnt over the years that they were meaningless. He never followed through, at least not when it came to his children. Brandon had been more accepting of his mistakes than she had been, but then, Brandon had rarely found himself on the wrong side of a fist. Her brother had tried to protect her, but he'd only been a child himself and hadn't really been in any position to do so, so she'd spent weeks at her fathers house each summer terrified of making the wrong move, anxiously biting at her nails as she hid in corners, hoping she wouldn't be found and would escape the day unharmed.

She wiped the tears from her eyes as she stood up, walking over to the mirror placed by the door, checking her reflection for any sign of the tears she had been shedding. Her gaze fell to the scar on her collarbone, where a CD had hit her when it had been thrown her way, it was her fault, she guessed, if she hadn't have tried to duck to miss it, it would have hit her lower arm instead. Her eyes moved up, and she flinched at the scar just on her hairline. It wasn't as prominent now as it once had been, but to her it was still as angry and raw as it once had been. She reached up, brushing her hair over it before reapplying her make up and heading out of the door.

The walk to work wasn't a long one, but as usual she found herself extremely aware of all the ways in which it could go wrong. Her father could see her, and she'd end up having yet another public argument with him. Aubrey could see her, and she'd be reminded that she had somehow been coerced into joining an acapella group by an overexcited redhead that wouldn't seem to take no for an answer. One of the many college guys that seemed to have concluded that she was some kind of dog could whistle at her again, and she swore that one of these days she was going to slap one of them. She could get stopped by one of her professors, enquiring about one of the many essays she swore she was going to get round to writing eventually. And then there were the obvious dangers – weapons, cars, criminals...

Still, she needed the money, and the job wasn't bad. Sure, stacking CDs was dull, but it was a distraction from the reality of her life and it really helped her procrastination habit. Jesse wasn't all that bad either, even if he did once offer to aid her in her rebellion by enabling her to break Luke's 'No sex on the desk' rule. Dork. She knew he hadn't meant anything by it. She couldn't imagine Jesse ever intentionally harming anyone. He was sweet, even if annoyingly persistent, and it was nice to have the company while she worked, even if he did often take her mind off the job with his goofing around.

"Rambo!" He announced as she walked in. "Have you been off fighting cops? Is that why you're late?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You don't know Rambo?!" He exclaimed. "You know, the soldier."

"Nope."

"I'm adding that to the list." He decided, taking out his phone. "Of course, if you see one, you have to see them all."

"How many are there?"

"Like, four."

"Four movies?" She questioned. "And they're all about one guy?"

"He's awesome." Jesse enthused. "He's this special forces soldier and he completely loses it."

"Four movies about one person." She considered. "Seems pretty lame."

"It's not lame!" He answered, and she almost smirked at the offence he seemed to have taken. "And Harry Potter had eight." His eyes lit up as he looked back to his phone. "You need to watch those too, we'll marathon them."

She stepped past him, swinging her bag under the desk before picking up the nearest box of CDs and beginning to work.

"Hey," She looked back at him. "Why Rambo?"

"What?"

"Why some soldier dude?"

He grinned. "Judging by the scars, you've been in wars of your own. You are Rambo." He paused. "Or accident prone. Which is a serious possibility that would actually make you the burglars from Home Alone."

"They weren't accident prone, they were set up."

"You know Home Alone?"

"Everyone knows Home Alone." She turned back to her work.

"I thought you didn't like any movies."

"I don't." She shrugged. "My brother and I used to watch Home Alone when we were younger. I wanted to be that kid, not having to worry about what his parents were doing."

She turned to him when he didn't respond, finding him watching her curiously, a million questions on his lips that she knew he wouldn't ask, and for a moment she wondered whether she had said too much, if he could piece together her past just by looking at her. He knew there were issues between her and her father. Jesse had had the misfortune, as Beca would say, of meeting the man some weeks before, and it had been impossible for him to miss the tension between them, but he'd never asked. She'd never offered any form of explanation, and they had continued as if the awkward encounter had never happened.

"I had lunch with my brother." She eventually offered up. "So I started working on a mix later than I usually would and lost track of time."

He nodded and moved to stand beside her, helping her with the box of CDs she was stacking, and his uncharacteristic lack of words paired with the focus he was putting into the task was enough to tell her that he was deep in thought, probably trying to find a way to ask her what he wanted to know without actually asking her. She'd never really been great at picking up on people's cues, she'd withdrawn into herself so much that the idea of connecting with someone, of letting them in, was an alien concept to her. People were a mystery. The only thing that really made sense to her was music.

"How are treble rehearsals going?" She didn't really care, but the silence was unnerving her.

He turned to her in mock horror. "Are you trying to steal our secrets?!"

She rolled her eyes. "Like we even need them. The girls are awesome." She paused. "Mostly."

"Aubrey still a pain in the ass?"

"Aubrey's... Aubrey."

"I have noticed her annoying habit of being herself."

Beca rolled her eyes. "You have the exact same habit. Want me to hook you up?"

"I couldn't do that to you." He grinned, not missing a beat. "The jealousy would kill you, and you mean too much to me for that."

"Weirdo."

"I really hope you're not this charming with everyone. I want to be special."

"Oh,you are." She shot back, and she almost laughed when his instant understanding of her tone led to a dramatic clutching of the chest.

"That hurt, Beca."

"You'll live."

 **-SH-**

" _I want to go home."_

" _I know, but it's only a couple of weeks, it'll be fine." Brandon gently moved the damp cloth over his sister's arm, cleaning her newly acquired wound before putting some cream onto the graze."I'll look after you."_

" _You can't all the time."_

" _I'm your big brother." He shrugged. "It's my job."_

" _I wish mom was here." Beca flinched at the sting of her injury. "Nothing's bad when mom's here."_

" _I know." Brandon nodded. "But it's like dad said, if we tell her why we don't like coming here, she'd be sad."_

"Dinner on Friday, Beca." Dr. Mitchell informed her. "No blowing it off. Your brother will be there too."

"I have plans."

"Then cancel them."

"They're important."

"So are your family." He pushed. "You haven't even met Sheila."

"I don't see why I need to."

"She's my wife..."

"But she's not my mother. Remember her? My mother. The woman you ditched for your new life here."

"That's got nothing to do with Sheila."

"Neither have I." She grabbed her bag, turning to leave the radio station, still angry that her father and decided to corner her there. She threw a final comment at Jesse before slamming the door. "Tell Luke I'm on my break."


	2. Chapter 2

**This took longer than I thought it would, but I wanted to be completely happy with it before posting (or at least more happy with it than I was).**

 **Certain points from the first movie will be referenced within the the next couple of chapters. Hopefully that will give you a better sense of where things are timeline wise.**

* * *

" _How did this happen?"_

 _Beca glanced warily up at her father, waiting for his response to the doctor's question._

" _She fell out of a tree." He sighed. "Kids, you know, you tell them not to do something and they do it anyway. It's my fault, really, I should have kept a closer eye on her."_

 _The doctor chuckled slightly, smiling at his patient. "You're the adventurous type then? Maybe listen to your dad next time. Tree climbing is risky business."_

 _She nodded slightly, looking down and concentrating on his actions as he began giving her the required stitches._

" _This is a pretty nasty cut you got here." The doctor tried again. "Your dad did a great job trying to patch you up, but sometimes it takes more."_

" _Brandon did it."_

 _The doctor's eyes narrowed, and he turned to her father with a questioning expression._

" _Her brother." The explanation was quick. "He's the one that did all the bandaging up. Unfortunately I wasn't home at the time."_

Every time she thought about trying to forgive him, she reminded herself of the excuses he'd made. She was clumsy. She didn't listen to him. She had a bit of a rebellious streak. She hadn't looked where she was going. He'd do everything but tell the truth, told every lie he could to try and prevent himself from looking bad. He was always convincing, no matter how many times the hospital visits were required. When she'd broken her arm he'd told them she'd been trying to roller-skate down the stairs. The black eye, when her mother had enquired one summer, was the result of her not sitting properly at the table, and slamming her face into the edge when the chair she had been swinging on collapsed. She'd been constantly lectured for her 'misbehaviour' by medical professionals, by her grandparents, even once by her mother, but she didn't blame them, they thought she was endangering herself. They didn't know the truth.

"Hey." The voice almost startled her, but she kept her composure. "You okay?"

She nodded, her response sounding unlike her. "Yeah."

"You're shaking." He pointed out. "And your breathing is pretty rapid."

"I'm okay." She got out, although she had to admit talking was beginning to feel like an effort. Her heart was pounding angrily, light-headedness beginning to set in and an overwhelming choking sensation overtook her.

He paused the movie and reached for her, pulling her reluctant form against him. "Just breathe, okay, slowly, in, and out."

She felt herself begin to calm some minutes later, due to his coaching and to his embrace. He made her feel safe, and she hated herself for it. She knew she was becoming attached to this feeling of safety, that his sincerity and his gentle, loving nature were intoxicating to her. She knew she was beginning to rely on him, but she also knew that relying on people was dangerous, letting people in was an invitation for pain. That's why she'd turned away when he'd tried to kiss her some days ago. Why she was grateful that he hadn't tried to talk to her about that moment. Why she ignored the dull ache she felt whenever she thought of the possibility that he may not try again.

"Jesse..." She began, but found herself unable to find the words to explain away what he had just helped her through.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head.

"Are you okay now?"

She nodded slightly, but moved to hold onto him when he released her. She could picture the smirk that would probably be gracing his face, and inwardly scolded herself for showing some vulnerability. He did seem to take the hint, though, moving only to press play as she settled against his side.

 **-SH-**

 _She pulled the blanket over her, wiping her tear stained face with the thin fabric. The night air was cold, but the sound of the owls was a comfort to the young girl who spent most nights wide awake, listening for a familiar sinister creak on the loose floorboard of the stairs. No matter what the time of day or night, if something went wrong when she was in that house, it was her fault, and if punishing her required dragging her out of bed, that's what would happen._

 _She edged over to her backpack, taking out one of the pieces of fruit she had taken before leaving the house and beginning to nibble on it. Returning it to it's place in the bag only moments later._

" _I'm okay on my own." She whispered aloud to herself. "I'm okay here."_

 _Deep down she knew she wasn't. She knew that she couldn't stay in a public park indefinitely. She knew that people would come looking for her. She knew the pain would continue. Deep down, even at her young age, she knew that reality wasn't so easy to escape._

"Jesse?" She asked, and he smiled warmly at her, prompting her to continue. "Did you ever run away when you were a kid?"

He seemed taken aback by the question, but answered anyway. "Never really had any reason to. My parents lives were me, my brother and sister. There was never really anywhere else I wanted to be." He paused. "Did you?"

She nodded. "When I was eleven."

"And what was eleven year old Beca Mitchell running from?"

She momentarily froze, but hoped her hesitation was small enough to go unnoticed. "Just stuff."

He smiled softly, placing a hand on her shoulder and stalling her sorting of some CDs Luke had dumped on them minutes before. "Whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'll be here."

She nodded. "It's nothing huge."

She could tell he didn't believe her, but he didn't push her. He never did. Instead, he reached over her to take some more CDs out of the box, beginning to help her sort through them. Showing her some of the cheesier titles and succeeding in lightening the mood.

"Serious question." He grinned, holding up the two CDs he was holding. "Barbie Girl or Friday?"

"Neither."

"You have to pick one, come on, you got to love one of these songs, it's a rule." He insisted. "Come on Beca, we both know Barbie Girl is your jam."

"Weirdo."

"It's your go-to karaoke song."

"I don't have a karaoke song."

"That is unacceptable."

"I don't lose sleep over it."

"I'll have to right this wrong." He announced. "I shall find you a karaoke song."

"I'm good."

"I shall find you a karaoke song and take you to a karaoke night."

"Dude, no."

"It'll be fun."

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she picked up the next CD. "Nerd."

 **-SH-**

" _Don't you ever do that again."_

 _She didn't answer, continuing to chew on her nails as she tried to tune out her father. It had been the police that had found her, and no matter how many times she begged them not to, they had returned her to her father's home within the hour, and she'd been surprised to be met with her mother's hugs and comforting words. When the police had finally left her father had started. He was angry, and she knew she was in trouble._

 _She hadn't realised that he had stopped talking until her mother suddenly grasped her hand, pulling it away from her mouth and examined it, before repeating the motion with her other hand. "Baby, when did you start biting your nails?"_

 _She glanced warily up at her father and then back to the floor. "Can we go home, mom?"_

 _A smile. "Okay."_

" _I still have two more weeks, Eleanor."_

 _Beca watched as her mother turned to her father. "You lost her! Anything could have happened to her."_

" _I can't watch her every second of every day. I can't stop her from running off."_

" _You're her father, it's your job!"_

" _You can have them back in two weeks." He demanded. "This is my time with them."_

 _Eleanor sighed, turning back to her daughter. "Two weeks, okay. Two weeks and you'll be back at home."_

" _No."_

" _It's not that long."_

" _No."_

" _I'll call you every night, okay?" She moved to the door, managing to open it before she heard the cry._

" _Mommy please don't leave me."_

 _She turned, kneeling on the floor in front of her daughter and pulling her into her arms. "Two weeks. It's just two weeks."_

 _Beca screamed as her father pulled her back and her mother stood up, eventually making her way out of the door, trying to prevent her children from seeing the uncertainty and pain in her eyes._

"DON'T LEAVE ME!"

Beca flinched as the request was hollered across the street and turned to see where it had come from. She spotted the teenage girl running to catch up with her friends almost immediately, watching as she almost tripped over her own feet to keep up with them. Her eyes followed them, and she found herself almost relieved when they turned a corner and left her line of vision.

She jumped when a hand was placed on her shoulder. "What up flatbutt?"

"Nothing." She excused, turning back to her friend to realise the two of them were now alone.

Amy noticed her confusion. "You spaced out. Like my horse did when that Kangaroo stole a Koala off my Grandma's tree."

"Okay?" She was never sure when Amy was being serious and when she wasn't.

"No worries, I chased that kangaroo down and wrestled the koala away from it. I won, of course. Always do."

"Um..."

"It did come back later and stole the baby."

"Baby?"

"It was fine, we'd been trying to get rid of it for a while."

"The baby?!"

"Yeah." Amy confirmed. "Even I couldn't get that bastard out of the ground."

"I have no idea what we're talking about here."

"The baby potato." Amy elaborated. "Got all of the others but that spud just wouldn't budge. Don't know how that kangaroo got it out."

"Oh." Beca waited for Amy to continue, but was somewhat relieved when she didn't. "Where did the others go?"

"Stacie said she has a class, so she's found a boy toy. Lilly said something about petrol in a dumpster or turning into a hamster or whatever." Amy shrugged. "How's your boy toy?"

"What?"

"Been treble boned yet?"

"Amy!"

"Can't say I'd blame ya..."

"Jesse and I are just friends."

"I had a friend with benefits once..."

"Amy! He's not..." Beca paused as she noticed Aubrey was nearby, waiting until they were far enough away from her before continuing. "He's just a friend, we took an oath."

"Screw the oath!" Amy announced dramatically, and Beca found herself turning quickly to ensure that the blonde hadn't heard. "You got yourself some man candy."

"He's a friend." Beca repeated. "And I'm really not looking for anything more."

"Cause you don't need to look when you've already found it, right?"

Beca rolled her eyes, trying to maintain an indifferent expression, but it was hard. In the short time that they had known each other, Amy had somehow learnt just what she needed to say to get a reaction from the short brunette, whether it be a scowl or a laugh, and Beca couldn't help but wonder what it was about this college, and these people, that made just a tiny part of her want to be more open, want to be more social.

"You should go for it. We all gotta get some and he's there and willing."

"Amy!"

"Do you seriously care about that oath?"

Beca shrugged. She didn't, but if she admitted that to Amy, the conversation could go in a way she really didn't want it to. The usual standbys wouldn't work with Amy, she always had a response to any reasoning that was given. It was far easier to lay the blame at Aubrey's feet, at least that left her relatively guilt free considering how Aubrey treated all of them.

"I just really don't want to give Aubrey another reason to hate me."

"Like she even needs a reason."

Beca shrugged, speeding up her pace. "It's not worth it."

"It definitely is." Amy answered. "Aubrey never has to know."

"Aubrey always knows." Beca reasoned, before realising how the conversation had progressed. "Why are we even talking about this? He's a friend."

"Keep telling yourself that." Amy laughed. "That boy's got it bad."

"Dude, no." She paused. "It's not like it would work anyway. We're too different. It would be too messy."

 **-SH-**

" _Hey Bec." She looked up at the man as he sat across from her at the dining room table. "Can we have a chat?"_

 _She nodded, biting her lip as she went back to her drawing._

 _He stayed quiet for a moment, as if questioning how he should continue before speaking up. "So, when you were out swimming earlier, I noticed you had quite a nasty cut on your arm."_

 _She looked up, but stayed silent, trying to figure out how to respond to him._

" _How did that happen, Bec?" He tried._

 _She sighed, putting down the pencil that was in her hand. "I fell off my bike." She paused. "Dad was mad."_

" _Do you mind if I look?"_

 _She shrugged, placing her arm on the table and carefully rolling up the sleeve of her shirt._

" _That does look pretty angry." He smiled. "Did it need stitches?"_

 _She nodded._

" _Did your dad take you?"_

 _Another nod._

" _Did you get ice-cream after?"_

" _Dad said we didn't have time."_

" _That's a shame." He responded. "Where were you riding your bike?"_

" _What?"_

 _He took in her confusion before answering. "When you fell off of it. Where were you riding it?"_

" _Oh." She hesitated. "In the street."_

" _So." He tried. "Why did you run away?"_

" _I was in trouble. I didn't want to get told off."_

" _Okay." He sighed. "Bec, I know I'm not your dad, but you can talk to me, you know?"_

 _She nodded. "Mom said I can. She said after the wedding you'll be like my dad."_

" _Are you okay with that?"_

 _Beca nodded. "She could do worse."_

 _He laughed. "Glad to hear it."_

 _She followed him with her gaze as he left the dining room, and moved to the door when she heard him begin a conversation with Brandon._

" _Neither of you mentioned that your sister got hurt while you were with your dad?"_

" _It wasn't huge. She just fell out of a tree. She's fine."_

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Chloe questioned. "You look like you've seen a ghost." She gestured down to Beca's phone. "Bad news?"

"Just a text from my step-dad." Beca explained. "Nothing major. He wanted to check that it was still okay for he and my mom to visit this weekend."

"Do you not get on with him?"

"We get on fine." Beca shrugged. "Just worried about him bumping into my dad. They don't get on."

"Why?"

"No reason." The enquiry made her desperate to change the subject. "What's up with Aubrey? She's treating us like actual human beings today."

"She talked to her dad earlier. I don't know what he says to her, but she's always weird after talking to him."

"Maybe she should talk to him every day."

"I'm not sure I could deal with the yelling. You don't have to live with her. I hear all of those calls. Never pretty."

"I doubt her dad is as bad as mine."

"You're always so hard on him, Beca." Chloe mentioned. "He seems nice, I don't get it."

"What did he do that's so bad?"

"Just forget it."

"I can't understand if you don't tell me."

"You won't understand anyway."

They both stepped outside into the cool air, falling into step beside each other, an uncomfortable silence between them. There wasn't many people around this late, and Beca knew that Chloe was likely to pick up the conversation again if no one else distracted her. She stayed silent, focused on her own movement and hoping she could prevent the redhead questioning her again before she reached her dorm. The good thing about her roommate is that she hardly ever spoke to her, and Beca preferred it that way. She really wasn't ready for anyone to pry into any part of her life. Especially not that part.

It wasn't that she didn't want to let people in. More that she knew what people could do to you if you let yourself care too much. It wasn't a risk she had been willing to take in a long time, and she couldn't start now, even though everyone around her made her want to. She'd already let them get too close.

"Beca..."

She knew Chloe was about to start asking questions again, and was somewhat relieved by the loud interruption that made them both turn back.

"BECAW!"

She waited until Jesse had reached them before responding. "Why are you being loud?"

"To make sure you didn't miss out on the magic of my presence." He was grinning, and she was trying so hard not to smile back. He turned briefly. "Hi Chloe."

"Hey." Chloe was smiling. She was always smiling. Beca wasn't sure how she did it. Surely she couldn't be happy _all_ the time.

"Just finishing up with rehearsals?" Jesse queried. "Aubrey must really be worried if she's keeping you this late."

"Not worried." Beca put in. "Just insane."

"Sounds fun."

"Seriously, dude." Beca retorted. "I can hook you up if insane is your thing."

"Can I be there when you pitch that to Aubrey?" Chloe laughed. "She'll be totally for it. You may need to specify that it won't be all three of you though, because she is convinced you guys are hooking up."

"Aubrey's convinced everyone's hooking up."

Jesse shrugged, grinning mischievously at Beca. "We could always give her something to talk about."

"And have her on my case for the rest of the year? No thanks."

Beca had filled Jesse in on the oath while they had been working one day. She'd been going through all of the insane things Aubrey did on an almost daily basis, and ever since he seemed to feel the need to constantly bring up ways in which they could annoy her. Messing with the music before she arrived for Bella practice. Writing on her perfectly organised whiteboard. Purposely getting steps wrong. And his personal favourite, convincing her that they were, in fact, hooking up. Beca wasn't sure why Jesse seemed so interested in winding Aubrey up, but when Beca had mentioned it to Stacie, the latter had suggested that maybe it had a lot to do with Beca, and Aubrey being an obstacle he had to overcome to "get laid". Why were all of these girls obsessed with sex?

"Wouldn't it be worth it?" She heard Jesse asking, and was almost surprised by Chloe's agreement. "What do you think? Lover."

Beca glared at him as soon as the word was out. "What did I say about saying that word?"

"Would you prefer sweetie?" He laughed as her scowl deepened.

"You're the worst." She shook her head and picked up her pace.

"But you love me anyway."

"No I don't."

Jesse and Chloe were back by her side in seconds. One of the downsides of being short, she guessed. They didn't continue the conversation though, and for the second time last night, she was glad for it.

Jesse left them at the entrance to Beca's building, and she almost grimaced when Chloe turned on her as soon as he was gone. "He likes you."

"Don't say that."

"He does."

Beca pushed open the door heading inside. "No he doesn't. Why would he?"

"Why wouldn't he?" Chloe shot back, an excited smile still on her face. "Why can't you just accept that someone likes you?"


	3. Chapter 3

" _You're in trouble mister!"_

" _Oh no!" Dr. Mitchell answered, smiling as his daughter stepped in front of him and noticing the costume police hat on her head. "It wasn't me officer. Honest!"_

" _You are under rest." Beca continued. "You ate all the cookies and now there aren't any!"_

 _He laughed, reaching forward and pulling the little girl onto his lap. "Is that right?" She nodded defiantly, taking one of his hands and unsuccessfully attempting to wrap her own hand around his wrist. "Then I think we need to do something about that, don't you?" She nodded again, jumping off of his lap and out into the hallway. He followed, pausing in the door as he watched her pull her shoes on. "And what kind of cookies would Miss Rebeca like?"_

" _Ones that Brandon doesn't like." She grinned "I'll eat them all and I won't be sick daddy I like them."_

" _I'm sure." He grabbed his own coat, pulling it on before taking the hat off of his daughter's head. "How about we leave this here and not let your brother know you were in his room again?" He placed it on the bannister at the bottom of the stairs before replacing it with Beca's purple knitted hat before moving to open the door. "What's the rule about outside, kiddo?"_

" _Don't go in the road." She emphasised, "and don't talk to strangers, and don't pet dogs you don't know." She paused, giggling. "And don't throw Brandon's ball across the street."_

Beca wished all of her childhood memories were like that one, but when she was five, things had been so simple, her parents were still together, her father had been the fun, kind support system that she had spent many of her early years believing that he was. Brandon was just a regular big brother, not her self-appointed protector. The way things were now, she barely recognised the small girl smiling back at her in the photograph. The little girl she had once been.

"You were adorable."

Beca rolled her eyes at the cheesy grin on Jesse's face as he gave his evaluation, placing the picture back onto the mantel and beginning to survey the rest of the pictures lined along the surface. He seemed to be in his element, keenly examining each of the childhood photos on display, commenting on the purple ribbons in her hair, the pigtails, the princess costume. Everything that was now so unlike Beca that he seemed genuinely surprised that she had once been a normal child.

"We are going to have the cutest aca children."

"Dude." She scolded. "Again with the children."

His grin didn't falter, and she knew she shouldn't be too hard on him. He had bailed on Benji to come with her on her first visit to her father's house in almost seven years. She had considered asking Amy or Chloe, but Amy was too unpredictable in what she said, and Chloe asked too many questions about the issues with her father. Beca had needed someone on her side, even if that someone was the goofy nerd that had stubbornly refused to allow her to shut him out of her life.

She wandered over towards the living room door, stopping just short of exiting the room. The house was different to how she remembered it. Warmer. More welcoming. Pictures of herself, her brother and two sandy-haired boys had replaced the art that had once hung all around the house. The door to the kitchen, which had once intentionally been slammed shut on her fingers, had been replaced with an archway. The cold white walls of the hallway were now a soft shade of yellow, and loud music could be heard from one of the upstairs rooms.

She could tell when Jesse had moved to stand just behind her, could tell from his movement that he was attempting to mimic her position, and she almost laughed when he spoke up. "It's an awesome wall, but I'm prettier."

"Wow." She retorted. "You really are full of yourself."

"There are so many things I could do with that sentence if your family weren't so close to us."

Her eyes narrowed. "Dude, don't be gross."

They turned as they heard a key being turned in the front door, and Beca instinctively jumped as it opened – something that she had done as a child. She knew there was no way that Jesse would have missed her reaction. The new arrival nodded at them as he passed, but went straight through to the kitchen without a word, greeting Sheila with a hug. One of her sons, Beca assumed, noting his resemblance to one of the unfamiliar boys in some of the pictures.

"For a minute there..." She closed the door the newcomer had left open as Jesse spoke, turning to him as she rolled her eyes knowingly. "I thought you had forgotten how doors work."

She glanced at him, shaking her head, before turning away, heading back into the living room, away from the presence of her blended family. She could tell he was watching her, and for some reason, she didn't mind. His being here was making this whole experience easier. At least a little bit.

She moved towards one of the many bookcases, her eyes skimming over the familiar titles her father had always seemed to be reading when she was younger. Not everything had changed, even if the appearance of the house was almost successful at convincing her. There had been some new additions to his collection, but they were still organised, alphabetically by author, as they always had been.

She reached forward, taking one off of the shelf, opening the cover to see the words written on the inside of it – _rebecas book not daddys_. She'd been six when she'd written it, having stolen the book off of the coffee table where her father had put it down before dinner. She smiled softly at the words, turning back to Jesse to see him watching her silently. She held out the book to him, "My dad read this to me when I was little."

He took it, his eyes gliding over the cover. "The Railway Children." He paused. "I haven't read it."

"He brought it when he was in England. I think that's why I was interested."

He handed it back to her, and she opened it once again to take another look at her addition to it's words. She was thankful that this was one of a few things that had never been thrown her way. Books had always been regarded too highly for that.

"Is there a movie?"

She sighed at the question, trying not to let her amusement show. "Yes, actually, there is."

He grinned. "I'm adding that to our list."

"But you won't know anything about it."

"That'll be your night to bring the fun facts."

 **-SH-**

" _I really hate this chore."_

" _If we don't we'll be in trouble."_

" _It's not even our chore." Brandon complained. "Why should we? We're not slaves."_

 _Beca continued to dry the plates her brother had washed, taking the opportunity his hesitation gave her to try and catch up with his progress. He always worked faster than she did. She knew it was more important that she did a good job than her brother. He would get away with a verbal reprimand if he slacked off. She wouldn't be so lucky._

 _Brandon grabbed the next dirty plate, dropping it carelessly into the water and unintentionally soaking the floor. He shrugged at the look his sister gave him as he started to scrub the plate, eventually taking it out of the water to inspect his work._

" _Clean enough for you?" He swung round to show Beca the plate, and his eyes widened as he felt it slip from his grasp and smash on the ground before he could do anything to prevent it, his sister screaming as one of the shards caught her bare foot._

" _WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?!"_

" _It's fine." Brandon answered, but they both already knew that they wouldn't remain alone for much longer._

" _What the hell has she done now?"_

" _It was me." Brandon tried. They both knew his confession would be worthless._

She tried to suppress a laugh as Jesse ran a finger over the faint scar on her foot, not wanting him to realise that she was ticklish. She knew he'd use it to his advantage if he figured that out.

"Five stitches." She commented, and frowned when his movement stalled. She turned to find him gazing at her, studying her expression. "Brandon dropped a plate."

He nodded. "Easily done."

"Want to hear about the blood?" She smirked. "It was like a scene from one of those horror movies you love so much."

He nodded again, turning back to his laptop screen. Things had been awkward between them for a few days now. She'd overreacted when she'd got in trouble and he'd called her dad. She'd tried continuing their friendship as if nothing had happened after realising that she really didn't like it when he was upset with her, but in the end, it was her insisting that their weekly moviecation go ahead that got his attention.

Things weren't the same though. He was distant, not the same dorky Jesse that spent their entire time at work trying to make her laugh, that filled her in on random fun facts whenever they watched a movie. She still caught him looking at her, but the amused smirk was gone, in it's place was an inquisitive sadness that almost made her want to confess all to him and let him try to fix her, let him try and find the little girl with the purple ribbons and the jump rope she hoped was still inside her somewhere, help her find the person she would have been if what had happened to her hadn't.

She didn't even know why she cared. She never used to. Usually she'd just shrug off anyone that was upset with her and end up never speaking to them again. It was different with Jesse. Something about him made her regret every disagreement they ever had, even if it wasn't her fault (and she knew it usually was). He'd never made any indication that he had ever expected an apology, and they'd always moved past it as if nothing was wrong. It worked for them. At least it had worked for them. She wasn't so sure this time.

"This is the quietest you've ever been." He nodded, and she rolled her eyes. "Dude, I thought I was meant to be the antisocial one."

"Why is that?"

She was taken aback by his question. Having expected to fail at getting a response, let alone a direct question. "What?"

"Why can't you let people in?"

"It's easier." She shrugged, suddenly feeling the need to turn away. "It's the only way no one can hurt you."

She felt his finger glide over the scar again, and instantly knew what he was thinking. She stayed silent, knowing that if she spoke right now, she may say too much, and once he knew how damaged she really was, there was no way he'd want to be around her.

He shifted, standing up, and she noticed for the first time that the movie had ended. Beca moved over to her desk, as she usually did when Jesse left, preparing to work on one of her mixes while he packed his laptop away, waiting for his usual "see you later" and the familiar sound of him leaving the room.

"Bec?" She turned to him, and was momentarily alarmed by how close he was standing to her, his laptop case over his shoulder. She gasped as he moved his lips to hers, kissing her softly before taking a step back, taking in her reaction. "Not everyone wants to hurt you."

And with that, he left.

 **-SH-**

" _We need to get you a season pass."_

 _Beca let out a fake laugh at the doctor's joke._

" _Let me guess." He smiled. "You were out slaying a dragon and you stood on a sharp stone?" She shook her head. "You were wrestling a crocodile and got bitten?" She shook her head again. "I got it. You were on a secret undercover mission trying to find a jewel thief, and you accidentally stood on one of the diamonds."_

" _Brandon dropped a plate and I stood on it." She answered. "Daddy said you might have to cut my foot off, but I said that's silly."_

" _Of course it's silly." The doctor agreed, a laugh escaping. "I'm not the doctor that cuts people's feet off." He gestured. "That's the lady over there."_

She moved into the lecture hall soon after the students had begun to file out, making her way down to where she knew she would find her father. She'd agreed, after much persuasion from her brother, to meet them both for lunch once a week, and as her father always seemed to be busy, this was the location she had been told to meet them at.

She glanced around before walking over to the older man, anxious to see that her brother had not yet arrived. She really did not want to be left alone right now, and this time she couldn't even call Jesse for backup, that would lead to a conversation that she really wasn't ready to have.

"Thanks for coming."

Beca nodded, sitting down, once again glancing around the room to see if her brother was about to make an entrance. Nothing.

"Beca." Dr. Mitchell sighed. "I know this isn't easy for any of us, but we'll get there, okay? I know you're angry, and you're hurting, and you have every right to feel that way. I understand that I caused a lot of your pain..."

"No you didn't."

Her interruption surprised him, but she could tell he was trying not to let it show. She hoped he knew that that didn't mean that she no longer blamed him, that she no longer thought he had been at fault. She did. She probably always would. He betrayed her. No amount of conversations would change that. Nothing he did would change what she went through. The damage had already been done, and she had to live with it for the rest of her life.

"I don't know how to feel better." She mumbled, focusing on her hands. "I don't know how to be okay."

"Last week when you got arrested." His voice caught on the final word, telling her that it still bothered him. "You said you were helping a friend."

She nodded. "Jesse."

"Having a friend is a good start."

"If he finds out he..."

"You don't know that. Sheila knows, and she still wants to be with me. You can't live your life shutting people out because of my mistakes."

"Sheila knows?"

"I told her before we got married. It didn't seem right to keep it from her."

"I guess that..."

"Sorry I'm late!" Brandon announced before they had even heard the door swing open. "Beca's weird friend stopped me on the way here and asked if she could have some of my hair." He bounded towards them, quickly taking a seat. "What did I miss?"

Beca sighed, relieved that her brother had finally arrived. She knew the conversation she had been having with her father was necessary, and that they would need to finish it, but she'd already put it off for six years, and if she could, she was definitely willing to put it off for another six. Besides, she really didn't want to have to explain to her father why she was avoiding the friend she had only recently officially introduced him to.

"Not much."

 **-SH-**

" _Mommy?" Her small voice was unsteady as she approached her sobbing mother. "Mommy, you didn't come to the bus to get us." She pulled on her mother's sleeve lightly. "Mommy? Don't be sad mommy, we came by ourself."_

" _Did you and dad have another fight?"_

 _Beca stepped back slightly when her brother's question got their mothers attention, and she slowly looked up to face them both, seeing the concern in their eyes._

" _Come here, babies."_

 _She jumped into her mother's arms, turning back to her brother, expecting to see him approaching too. He hadn't moved. "Brandon, come on."_

" _Mom?"_

" _Your dad..." She began, and Beca turned back to her expectantly. "Daddy had to go away for a while."_

" _How long?" Beca asked, her face screwing up. "He tells me mommy."_

" _Forever, Beca." Brandon interrupted, gaining her attention. "Dad's gone and he's not coming back. He's left us."_

" _He will come back!" Beca demanded, turning back to her mother. "He will mommy, won't he?"_

" _Daddy and I haven't been getting on, sweetheart. It's important for you to know that daddy hasn't left you, you'll still see him all the time, he just won't live with us any more."_

" _I want daddy to live with us!"_

" _Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things just don't work out, and that's okay. Everything is going to be okay."_

"It's going to be okay, you're going to be fine."

Beca stood motionless as she watched the scene in front of her. Seeing people in pain unnerved her. She never knew how to react to anyone showing even a slight amount of distress, so seeing Ashley on the floor, the pain reflected in her eyes, was enough to make Beca want to run as far from the scene as she could. She was at Bella rehearsals though, and had already been reminded multiple times that cutting out early is just not an option. So she watched as Chloe helped the other girl up, slowly moving her to a chair not far from where she had fallen.

"It's probably just a sprain."

"She should really see a doctor."

"What if it's broken?"

"I cannot allow it to be broken. Our success requires all of us to be the best we can be."

Beca wasn't really aware of who was saying what, just that they were all currently talking over each other without coming up with any helpful suggestions. She'd been in hospital enough times to know that if Ashley's ankle was broken, she would likely be in a lot more pain than she seemed to be. There was no screaming, no hysterical tears, just a clenched jaw and a look in her eye that was all too familiar to Beca.

"It's fine. We'll be okay."

It was a relatively meaningless promise. Beca had heard it more than enough times before, from her brother, from her parents, from doctors, from the many officials that had been in and out of her life. It was never okay. Okay is just another word for normal, and when normal is less than perfect, as it all too often is, promising okay isn't really much of a promise at all. Okay to her meant living with the reminders of her past. The scars, her strained relationship with her father. The dreams and the vivid flashbacks. The memories that were always there, buried so deep that she knew there was probably so much that she didn't remember at all.

"It feels a little better now."

Ashley's comment made her look up, questioning whether or not her words were actually the truth. She had some knowledge of the pain that the other woman was suffering through, and she knew that if the injury was as bad as it looked, there was no way it was feeling any better.

"You should get it checked at the hospital." They all turned to her when she made the suggestion, and it made her shrink back just a little bit, wishing that she hadn't given her input. "Just to be sure."

"Fine." Aubrey eventually decided. "But Chloe and I need to stay here and figure out how to make this routine work without her. You'll have to take her."

Beca nodded, moving to help Ashley up. "Do you think you can walk?"

"I'm not sure."

"I can help." Beca gave a weak smile when Stacie moved to her other side."Don't you have plans tonight? I'm sure Amy and I can handle this."

Beca glanced back anxiously at Aubrey, who was frantically writing at the other end of the room, no longer paying attention to them.

"No, no plans."

"What about..."

She shook her head. "No plans."

It was technically true. She and Jesse had never actually solidified their moviecation plans for that night, and as she was still unsure as to what she would say to him following their last movie night, she didn't mind putting it off. She'd figure out what to say soon enough.


	4. Chapter 4

" _Daddy I'm bigger than you!"_

 _She frowned at the panic in the older man's eyes as he looked up at her. "Beca, get down from there!"_

" _But daddyyyy!"_

" _Now."_

 _She obeyed, noticing his close proximity to the bottom of the tree she had climbed, his arms out as if he was ready to catch her should she fall. "I'm good at climbing, daddy."_

" _Don't you ever go up that high again." He sighed, helping her down the rest of the way. "What if you fell?"_

" _I didn't."_

" _That's not the point." He pointed out, placing her firmly on the ground before taking her hand. "Come here, I need to talk to you and your brother about something." She watched him gesture for Brandon to come over to them as they walked towards a bench, and her brow furrowed as she noticed the anxiety in his eyes._

" _I'm sorry daddy, I won't climb high again."_

" _It's not that." He sighed, sitting next to them so that he could face them both. "I need you to know that this doesn't change anything between us. I'm still your dad. I still love you both so much, and I'm still going to be there for you whenever you need me."_

" _What is it?" Brandon's tone was steady, but Beca had always been able to read her brother, and even at eight, she knew it was just a mask._

" _Daddy's going to move away."_

" _You already moved away." Beca frowned, confused._

" _He means he's not going to be down the street any more." Brandon explained. "Where to?"_

" _Georgia." Came their father's answer. "I got a great job offer that I just couldn't refuse."_

" _You're leaving the state?"_

" _I'll still see you all the time. It'll just be a little further to travel on the weekends."_

" _Like we'll even be able to come."_

" _Of course you will, Brandon."_

" _I don't want you to go."_

" _It's a great job, kiddo."_

" _Is this about a job?" Brandon queried. "Or her?"_

She'd felt a brief, sharp pain in her chest when he had casually brought up his planned trip to see his family for spring break, and for a moment it surprised her. Why did she care that he was going to be leaving for a short period of time? Why did it matter to her that he would be leaving the state? It's not like he was her boyfriend (although she now did have to admit that sometimes, he did act like it), he didn't owe her anything, he didn't really owe her the advanced notice of his leaving, but she soon realised that she had become accustomed to his nerdy behaviour, to his movie obsession and his ability to make her laugh. She cared that he was going because she was going to miss him.

And it terrified her.

Beca Mitchell did not miss people. She'd given up missing people years ago, when her contact with her father had reduced to almost nothing. Wanting to see him when she couldn't had hurt, especially when she knew exactly why it wasn't an option, so she'd decided to stop caring altogether. Coming here had changed that.

She leaned her forehead on the window of the minivan she was currently travelling in with the Bellas, trying to drown out Aubrey's pre-competition lecture by attempting to organise her own thoughts. She'd managed to completely avoid talking to Jesse about the one thing she knew he wanted to talk about, but had accepted his gentle touches as he brushed her hair out of her eyes or caressed her shoulder. He was confused, and he had every right to be, but a part of her wished that he'd just let go of his frustrations so that the unresolved tension between them would dissipate.

Jesse was Jesse, though. He still never asked, which she was always grateful for, but she knew that he wanted nothing more than to do just that, and she knew that one day, probably not all that far away, he would. She wasn't sure if she was ready to answer. If she'd ever be ready to answer. She didn't want to be the subject of a pitying look, not from him, and she didn't want him to see her the way her extended family did. She didn't want to scare him off.

He deserved better than someone as damaged as she was, and she knew that as soon as he found out the extent of that damage, he was likely to leave just as everyone else did. She couldn't ask him to stay when she couldn't guarantee that she could ever be what he wanted. What he deserved. All she could do was hold off for as long as she could, make the most of his friendship while she still had it.

"Beca, are you even listening to me?"

She sighed. "Just how we rehearsed it. No unexpected additions, vocally or otherwise."

She could almost see the scowl on Aubrey's face, and hoped that the other woman could tell that she hadn't been listening at that particular moment. None of them really needed to. She had given them the same lecture so many times that they could probably recite it in their sleep. Amy especially, following her, in Aubrey's words, unacceptable improvisation that had almost prevented them from progressing further in the competition. Aubrey was the only one that believed that that had cost them marks, the others were all sure it had been what had won them their place. Everyone had just responded to Amy in a way that they hadn't been at the beginning of the set.

"Let the woman dream about her man candy, Aubrey." The comment had come from in front of her, and Beca didn't need to see Amy's face to know she was smirking. She knew accidentally making Amy aware of the kiss would come back to haunt her.

" _Beca, we need to talk."_

 _She rolled her eyes as the older man sat across from her. "Whatever."_

" _Beca, look at me when I'm talking to you."_

 _She looked up, glaring at her stepfather as if it would be enough to deter him. "Happy?"_

" _Beca." He warned, and for a moment she allowed herself be impressed by his ability to keep his cool despite her hostility. Then he opened his mouth again. "Your mother and I are worried about you."_

 _Her eyes narrowed. "I'm fine."_

" _You haven't been fine in a long time, kid." He sighed knowingly. "You haven't been out with a friend all summer."_

" _Everyone at school is about as lame as anything there is to do in this town."_

" _You could go to the mall, or the arcade?"_

" _I hate the mall." She snapped. "And the arcade is for kids."_

" _This isn't healthy, Bec."_

" _I'm fine." She insisted. "I just don't want to go out and do a bunch of lame shit with some lame people."_

 _He frowned. "At least try and make some plans with Cassidy at the Robertson's barbecue next week?"_

" _We're not friends any more."_

" _Since when?"_

" _Since she told the whole school everything." She snarled. "Now everyone looks at me like I'm some broken little doll and I'll break if they're not nice to me."_

" _I'm sure they don't think that."_

" _How do you know what they think? You're not there. You don't see how they look at me."_

" _Bec, we can fix this. We can talk to the school..."_

" _I don't want you to fix it, I want you to leave me alone. You're not my dad, and I can look after myself, so back off." She scowled when he opened his mouth as if to speak, but was slightly relieved when a cry interrupted their tense exchange. "You'd better go. Your real kid wants you."_

She regretted it almost as soon as she'd said it, but by that point, she'd already stormed off, and he would have been on stage before she got back, even if returning didn't mean running into the Bellas, so instead she did something she swore to herself she would never do. She called her dad. He wasn't the first person she tried, but after Brandon didn't pick up, she knew that he was the only other person that would come all this way to pick her up. And he did, surprisingly without any questions, but unexpectedly with a vaguely familiar 'dad' hug.

She'd expected things to return to normal the next time she saw Jesse at work. Figured that if she continued like nothing had happened, he would fall into step with her and do the same, just like he always had done. This time was different though. They'd worked their final shifts before spring break in relative silence, he was only speaking when she spoke first, and even then, it seemed he was only doing so to be polite. She knew she should apologise, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. She hadn't meant to hurt him, he'd just happened to speak at the wrong time, stand up for her in the one moment he really shouldn't have.

His silence threw her off. His behaviour was so completely different to what she had come to expect from him that she had found herself becoming sloppy in her work as she tried to figure out what was going on in his head. He wasn't quite the open book she had assumed he was, and now that things were more strained between them than they ever had been before, she was having more difficulty reading him than ever.

He hadn't told her when he had left for spring break to visit his family, and she had to admit to herself that it stung. She'd texted him when Benji let her know that he had gone, hoping that restarting their conversations that way was a means of getting things back to how they were, but he hadn't responded. She didn't know how to deal with a situation like this, usually she'd turn and run in the other direction, but this time, doing that scared her even more than trying to find a way to return things to normal.

On impulse, she'd decided to watch The Breakfast Club, putting aside her disinterest in movies to try and see just what it was that Jesse loved about this particular one, and before she knew it she had made her way through a number of the movies he had insisted that she absolutely _had_ to watch. It wasn't the same without him there with her, but in a way, it made her feel like he was there, like the movies were keeping them connected even when he was barely speaking to her. She didn't realise how much of a cliché she was becoming until Brandon commented on her behaviour, deciding that as each day passed, she was becoming more and more of a girlfriend in relation to a guy she swore she was not dating.

Not having the Bellas to distract her was making her think about her brother's claims, and her own feelings, even more. She hadn't come here to start feeling again. She hadn't come here to meet someone that would completely throw her world into chaos. She hadn't planned to want to stay as much as she did when she was around him. Coming to this school had led to a completely different life journey to the one she had planned for herself, one that made her extremely anxious, that would force her to allow herself to show some vulnerability if she wanted to stay on this course instead of reverting to the old one. For the first time since she had started high school, she wasn't sure what she wanted.

She glanced at her phone again, not really expecting to see a response from him, but still disappointed when she confirmed that one had not been received. The messages from Amy and Chloe were still coming in as if neither of them had anything else to do with their lives, but she had long given up reading most of them. She hadn't expected to continue hearing from them after everything that had happened, and although the contact wasn't unwelcome, she didn't really know how to answer, or if she would cause trouble for them with Aubrey if she did.

She did miss them, but she wasn't sure it was enough to make her go back and face Aubrey, especially because the blonde would expect her to apologise for actions that Beca really didn't regret, and she didn't even apologise when she did regret her actions, so there was no chance of it happening over this. She did what she thought was best for the group, and if Aubrey didn't like that, that was her problem.

She inaudibly groaned when she heard a knock on her dorm room door, deciding that the prospect of company was inferior to being distracted by her own thoughts, but as the incessant tapping continued, curiosity won her over, and she opened the door just enough to see who was on the other side.

The bubbly redhead forced her way in almost as soon as she could, happily closing the door behind her before jumping onto her roommate's bed, and Beca found herself momentarily annoyed that she was making herself at home similar to the way in which Jesse always had.

"What do you want, Chloe?" She questioned, irritably making her way back to her desk and sitting down, facing the overexcited bella staring back at her. "I thought you were away for spring break?"

"I was." The answer was just as cheerful as Chloe always seemed. "I got back last night and when you didn't answer my messages about coming back to the bellas, I decided to come over."

"I didn't answer because I'm not coming back."

"Why wouldn't you?" Chloe's grin didn't falter. "We're your best friends."

"I never said we were friends." Beca answered, turning back to her computer screen. "And it's not like Aubrey would let me if I did want to."

"Not everything is about what Aubrey wants."

"I might of believed you if I hadn't experienced it. They all know that you're not allowed a say, I'm just the only one that had the balls to say it."

"Beca, you make us better. Aubrey's the only one that can't see that. I can handle her, don't worry about it."

"I'm not worried." Beca let out an irritated sigh. "I'm just done with the drama."

"We can't win without you."

She could tell by Chloe's tone that the redhead was far from being dissuaded. "You won't win, period, whether I'm there or not. That set is tired."

"Then we'll convince Aubrey to change it."

"I don't care what Aubrey does or doesn't change, okay, I'm done. I quit. She got what she wanted."

She turned slightly as she heard Chloe stand up. "I'll leave you to think about it. Get back to me soon, okay?"

Beca groaned as she heard the door shut behind Chloe. She didn't hate her, she'd admit that much, but her presence was exhausting. Chloe was persistent to a fault and it really stressed Beca out when people tried to force her into things she wasn't interested in. She glanced back over at her phone, hoping that while she had been distracted, she had missed a message. She had, but it wasn't from the one person she wanted it to be from, it was a text from Benji, reminding her that Jesse should be returning tomorrow, and encouraging her to talk to him about her little blow up the last time he had tried to defend her.

" _She won't talk to me daddy, it's not fair."_

" _Well sweetheart, did you apologise?"_

" _No." Beca answered, moving from her chair at the dining room table to the window seat in the lounge, the phone still cradled to her ear. "I didn't do anything bad, I just said that I didn't want her to use any of my new crayons."_

" _Whether you were trying to or not, kiddo, it sounds like you hurt her feelings." Dr. Mitchell answered. "The best thing to do when you hurt someone's feelings is to apologise. Just tell Cassidy you're sorry, it'll make both of you feel so much better."_

" _But I don't feel sorry."_

" _Sometimes, even if you don't mean it, it is best to say you're sorry."_

" _But isn't that a lie?"_

" _It's a white lie." He responded. "It's okay if you're lying about something small to make someone feel better."_

" _You and mommy always said not to lie."_

" _And you shouldn't lie to us, not ever, but all Cassidy wants is to know that you understand that you upset her. It's not bad to give her that, especially if it makes you both happy." He paused. "But Bec, it is better if you are sorry. Sharing is important. Why did you not want to share with your friend?"_

" _They're new." Beca excused. "I don't want them ruined."_

" _Do you think that Cassidy would ruin your stuff?"_

" _No."_

" _Then did you really need to refuse to share?"_

" _No."_

" _Okay, so will you apologise?"_

" _Okay, daddy."_

" _That's my girl."_

" _What if she still doesn't like me?"_

" _Then you tried, and you'll be fine."_

She should have known that her father's advice would be to apologise. He always told her to apologise when someone was upset with her. She hadn't pointed out to him that that advice wasn't foolproof, she'd tried apologising to Jesse and it didn't seem to have made any difference. It was like he hadn't even been bothered by the thing she had been apologising for, and he had left it to her to figure out why he was really upset with her, giving her only a question for guidance. She already knew, of course, she had understood his meaning, she would had to have been an idiot not to, he was upset because she wouldn't let anyone in, namely him, but she wasn't even sure he was upset for him, he always had seemed more concerned for her than he was for himself.

She supposed her dad may be right this time, though. Leaving the bellas hadn't really made her feel any better, and she figured that maybe involving herself back in that world could help her deal with all of the Jesse tension just a little better. Even if she couldn't figure out what exactly it was that she should do, the distraction could be good for her. Besides, she had to admit to herself that maybe she did miss those nerds just a little bit. Amy, who always seemed to know what to say, however inappropriate it was, Lilly and her weird but somehow not annoying habits, she missed Stacie teasing her (and giving her advice about) Jesse, hell, for some reason she doubted she would ever figure out, she even missed Aubrey.

She'd come to like those girls over the months she had spent with them, and she hoped that even if she couldn't find a way to reconnect with Jesse right now (and it horrified her to realise that she had no intention of giving up), she could with them.


	5. Chapter 5

" _Don't let go."_

" _Sweetheart you're fine, I'm right here."_

 _Beca looked nervously up at her father. "What if I fall? What if I need my training wheels?"_

" _You don't." He smiled softly. "You can do this. You know you can."_

 _Beca looked down and placed her right foot on the pedal of her bike, biting her lip before looking up to her father again. "I'm scared."_

" _Some things are scary when you first try them." Dr Mitchell assured her. "But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try, it just means you need to practice."_

Beca wasn't sure what she had expected to happen when she walked off the stage. She had seen his reaction to her gesture, but as she made her way over to her seat, to him, she found a familiar anxiety tugging at her. At worst, she had misunderstood his actions, and they had solely been his way of letting her know that her apology had been accepted. At best, however, she had understood correctly, but that meant another change, one that scared her so much it almost sent her running for cover backstage. She'd been so confident when she was performing, but now she wasn't so sure. If she had understood it correctly, he'd expect a discussion, an agreement on their status, and she really didn't know how to be a girlfriend. She hadn't even been all that great at being his friend, and now she was about to throw herself in even deeper. Put herself at even more risk of getting hurt.

He'd put her at ease almost as soon as she had reached him just by being his dorky self, and this time the kiss hadn't come as a surprise to her. His response was fast, and she could only hope that he couldn't sense how happy that made her, how secure it made her feel. She'd never hear the end of it if he figured that out. They'd pulled apart just as the next group was starting their set, and she'd almost laughed at the goofy grin on his face as she sat down, finding that the rest of the bellas had made their way over to their seats. He'd followed her lead, and the next time they really got to interact with each other they were both on stage, acknowledging the competition results.

Beca had audibly groaned when she returned to the hotel room she was sharing with Amy to find that both the bellas and the trebles had designated it the destination of a victory party, the latter group claiming that as they were from the same college, it was their victory too (but it didn't work that way when they themselves won), and the room already looked like they had been there for hours. Jesse had placed a hand on her back and led her down the hallway without even needing to ask, and she hadn't questioned his invitation into his own hotel room – Benji likely wouldn't be back for hours, and they had a moviecation to continue.

It wasn't until she was woken by hushed voices that she realised she had fallen asleep in his arms soon after he had started _Jumanji_ , and she was somewhat surprised by how relaxed she felt as she listened to the conversation he and Benji were having.

"Tell them she's fine, but she probably won't be back any time soon. She's exhausted."

A pause. "So you two are together now?"

"We haven't talked about it yet. What she did tonight was huge for her, I don't want to put pressure on her to label us."

"Wasn't your big fight because of that?"

"No, that was because she was shutting everyone out, not just me. She was hurting herself, and I couldn't just watch her do that. Tonight was... it was her showing me that she doesn't want to keep shutting everyone out, that's enough for now."

"She's lucky you get it,"

"Nah, I'm the one that's lucky." There was a long pause, but just as Beca was about to open her eyes and let them both know she was awake, he spoke again. "Out of everyone, she's chosen to let me in. She's chosen to let me support her. That's amazing to me." Another pause. "When she yelled at me that day, it wasn't the yelling that got to me, she'd yelled at me before, it was seeing her shut the bellas out too. Seeing her isolate herself."

"Good thing she's not doing that any more." Benji reasoned. "You were so upset about it that not even my magic helped."

The conversation stopped, and if Beca didn't know Jesse, she would have found it an odd finishing point, but he did always seem to know what needed to be said, even if sometimes his timing was off. She listened as she heard Benji leave the room, and smiled to herself as Jesse returned to the movie, his fingers absently playing with her hair.

She waited a few moments before slowly opening her eyes, faking a yawn as she looked up at him. His eyes met hers almost instantly, and he paused the movie once again.

"How much did I miss?"

Jesse smiled. "About an hour, it's almost at the end."

She nodded. "Fill me in?"

He briefly looked surprised, but then began animatedly retelling what she had missed in the story, she couldn't help but giggle, yes, giggle, at his excitement, and that had seemed to enthuse him further. She knew he'd give her the choice to watch it again, and considering how excited he seemed about it, she knew she would probably take him up on that, besides, it didn't sound _completely_ lame.

It wasn't until he had settled down that she decided to bring up the subject that she knew he had been avoiding all evening for her sake. "You know I'm not going to be any good at this girlfriend thing, right?"

He smiled softly. "Is that what you want?"

"I just figured..." she began, cutting off mid-sentence and changing her response to a simple nod.

"You're sure?"

Another nod. "It's just that, I'll suck at it, and you deserve better."

He sighed, and for a moment it worried her. "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. There is no one better, Beca. Not for me."

"You don't know that."

"I do." He assured her. "I just feel it. It's terrifying, but, it's worth fighting for."

"What about when it doesn't work out? Will we still be friends?"

"It'll work out."

"Relationships never work out."

"Some do." He answered. "My parents relationship still is working out. Just trust me, okay?"

She felt herself nodding on seeing the sincerity in his eyes. "Okay, but say by some miracle this actually lasts through college, then what happens? I have to move to LA after college."

"I know LA is a big place, but I'm pretty sure it's not so big that we'd never see each other."

"What?"

"I intend to move there too."

Beca paused, taking in the information. "For work, though, right? Because for me it would be insane."

"No it wouldn't." He laughed. "But yes, for work." He frowned, and his sudden seriousness took her off guard. "I want you to know that even though things have changed between us, you don't have to talk to me about things you're not ready to."

She nodded. "Promise me that if you have something to ask you will? When you don't ask you get really quiet and it freaks me out. You're you, you don't do quiet, dude."

"Okay." He chuckled. "But you have to promise me that you will say something to let me know if you're not ready to talk about it."

"Okay."

"And to show you I am serious, I shall ask you something that has been bothering me for so long now." He moved his hand to her hairline, running his finger over one of her scars. "How did you get this angry guy?"

" _Rebeca Mitchell, twelve, blunt force trauma to the head, possible internal bleeding..."_

"It's not a guy." She commented. "And I fell down the stairs." It wasn't technically a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth. "At my dad's house. I was twelve. It was..." A pause. "It was one of the last times I saw him before I came here for college."

He nodded, and she could tell he knew there was more to it. "Your mom freak out?"

"My mom freaks out about everything." Beca shrugged. "I can't even miss a call without it becoming some huge deal."

"Moms." Jesse smiled. "Mine's pretty protective too."

"She'll probably hate me." Beca answered, trying to ignore the deep anxiety as she internally scolded herself for even bringing it up.

"She'll love you." He beamed. "I can't wait for you to meet her." His smile softened as he watched her, and she knew he had read her expression. "Not right now. We can talk about that whenever," He dropped a kiss to her forehead. "I just know that when you do meet her, she'll love you."

"You're one of those eternal optimists, aren't you?"

He grinned. "One of us has to be."

" _BRANDON!" Beca stormed up the stairs of the house, swinging open the door without knocking to confront her brother. "Why would you do that?"_

" _Do what?" He hadn't turned to her, but he had stopped what he had been doing on his computer._

" _You talked to Alec." She snapped. "You warned him off of me, and now everyone thinks that I like him."_

" _You've been hanging out with him a lot recently. I was looking out for you."_

" _How?" She scowled. "By scaring my science project parter into asking if he can work with someone else? Real big help, Brandon. I could have failed this project if he'd been allowed to switch."_

" _I know what guys want."_

" _The only thing that Alec Kirby wants is a good grade." Beca argued. "And even if he was interested in me, I'm not interested in him. I can look after myself."_

" _It's my job."_

" _No it's not. It's no one's job. No one's but mine."_

Jesse sat awkwardly across from the 21-year-old, trying hard not to feel like he was being thoroughly scrutinised. Beca had apologised before she'd even told him that her brother had somehow found out about their change of status and was insisting on meeting them for lunch, promising him that he didn't have to go and she'd make an excuse, but he'd agreed to it, reasoning that it wasn't as if Brandon didn't know him already. He hadn't been expecting her to be late, though, and although he didn't regret his decision, her brother's careful assessment of him was uncomfortable.

"Do you eat healthily?"

Jesse was taken back by the question. "Reasonably."

Brandon nodded. "Participate in any extreme sports?"

"No."

Brandon sighed. "Just making sure you're not going to die on her. Beca doesn't deal well with losing people."

Jesse nodded. "I'm not planning on going anywhere."

"She's been through a lot, if you're going to add to that, walk away now."

"I'm not walking away."

"Beca might."

"And if I'm absolutely sure that's what she wants, I'll let her."

"You think you'll know."

"Yes."

"How?"

"I know her."

"You think you know her."

"I know her." Jesse repeated. "I know she's scared of letting people in, of showing any weakness. I know that she acts like she doesn't care about what other people think when she really does. I know that if she wants to let you in, she won't tell you, but she'll find a way to show you. I know that even when she's rolling her eyes and acting like she's not interested, she's listening to every word you're saying."

"She's had a tough time."

"I know." Jesse responded. "And I know that when she's ready to talk to me about that, she will."

"So she hasn't told you?"

"If she's not ready to talk about it I'm not going to make her."

Brandon stayed silent, taking a moment to watch him before answering. "Beca's been hurt too many times before, and if..."

"You don't even need to say it." Jesse remarked, his tone giving away his understanding. "I have a little sister too."

"So you see where I'm coming from?"

"Yeah. You don't have to worry. I get that Beca's been hurt before, more than most people have, but I don't have any intention of letting her get hurt again. I just want to have the opportunity to make her happy. She's decided to give me that opportunity, I'm not going to pass it up."

Brandon nodded. "I wonder what's keeping her."

"Probably Aubrey. She expects Beca to take over the Bellas next year and decided she needs to train her to make sure she's ready for the job."

"Does Beca want to take over?"

"I don't think she'd be putting up with any of this from Aubrey if she wasn't okay with it."

"Doesn't really seem her thing."

"I've seen her when she's performing. She likes it more than she'll ever admit. I think she likes using her mixes for something. I get that, especially after seeing how much effort she puts into them."

"She let you watch her make a mix?"

"She let me try. I sucked."

"She let you touch that stuff?" Brandon sounded sceptical. "She never lets anyone touch that stuff."

"It didn't seem like that big a deal." Jesse shrugged. "She asked if I wanted to try, I agreed."

"I'm going to need more details." Brandon decided. "Mom's probably going to throw a party when she finds out that Beca's starting to trust someone that isn't me, her, or Harrison."

"Harrison?"

"Our step-dad."

Jesse nodded. "Beca said something about that."

"She tell you about Alex?" Brandon paused briefly as Jesse shook his head. "Our brother. Well, half brother."

"She doesn't really talk about family much."

"I'm not surprised. She's never really experienced the best of family."

"I hope to change that someday."

"Good luck with that, man." Brandon let out a sigh, nodding over to the doorway. "Here she is."

Jesse couldn't help but grin as Beca sat down, an annoyed grimace on her face. "I could kill Aubrey."

" _Skipping one assignment is hardly gonna make me fail, mom. You're being so unfair!"_

" _So you start by skipping one assignment. Next thing it's another, then another. It's a slippery slope, Rebeca, I'm cutting it off here. I spoke to your teacher, she's willing to give you an extension."_

" _I'm not doing it."_

" _Yes, Rebeca. You are."_

" _Harrison said I didn't have to." Beca shot back. "He said he'd talk to the school. It's not my fault he didn't."_

" _We both know that didn't happen."_

" _Yes it did." the teenager insisted. "I told him I had a problem with the assignment and he said we'd figure it out so that I could do something else."_

" _He'd never decide that your homework is optional."_

" _That isn't what happened, I told him why I didn't want to do it, and he told me not to. I don't see what the big deal is. It's just a stupid genealogy project." Beca watched as her mother realised what they were really arguing about, maintaining her defensive stance._

" _Why would you talk to Harrison about that, but not me?"_

" _He listened to me, mom. You never do."_

She loved the way Jesse talked about his family. Although it had taken her time to overcome the painful longing she had initially felt when hearing tales of his childhood, of the misadventures of he and his siblings. He spoke with such fondness of the memories that sometimes she couldn't help but feel his joy herself. She loved hearing his insistence that his brother's first word had been "Jess", and she couldn't help but smile when he animatedly told her of his sister's first soccer game, her first dance recital, school play. He never seemed to miss anything, especially when it involved one of his siblings.

Beca had only spoken to his sister once, having picked Jesse's phone up while he was in the shower, and she had been surprised to find out that the young girl knew all about her. From that one conversation, Beca had determined that Heather shared the same zest for life that her brother had, and she expected that she'd find the same traits in Isaac should she meet him. It seemed that optimism was a family thing, and that was why she was surprised when Jesse commented on how lucky he had been to have grown up in such an amazing family when the world was as messed up as it was. How lucky he was to have two supportive, loving parents.

She watched him curiously, trying to figure out what had brought on this change in mood, but all she could really establish was that it likely wasn't a response to him finding out about her past. There's no way he'd wouldn't have let her know if it was that. "Jess? Is something wrong?"

He shot her a smile, and she knew it was genuine, despite it quickly faltering. "It's nothing, I just talked to my dad last night, he's stressing again."

"You're worried about him?"

"Nah." Jesse shrugged. "He'll be fine." He watched her for a moment before continuing. "My dad's a social worker. I just know that if he's stressing, some kid out there is suffering."

Beca nodded. "You think he'll figure it out?"

"He usually does." Jesse nodded. "It's just him being like this really reminds me how lucky I am, you know? How lucky Isaac and Heather are. I think part of the reason he's such an awesome dad is because of what he sees. The stuff he never tells us but I know gets to him."

"How do you usually deal with it?" She queried. "When he's stressed like this? What do you do?"

"Nothing I can do. Just wait for him to figure it out." He paused. "I figured out when I was pretty young that I'd never be able to do what he does, I'd never be able to help people like that."

It was the first time she'd ever really seen him look disappointed, and she knew it was aimed at himself. "You help me. I mean, it's really annoying, but you do."

"That was different." He sighed, before smiling down at her softly. "From that very first time I saw you, that day when I was in the car, I knew there was something about you. I was drawn to you from that moment and I had to find a way in, even just to get to know you."

"That is the lamest thing I've ever heard."

"Really?" He smirked. "Then why are you smiling like an idiot?"

"Just because it's lame doesn't mean I don't like hearing it." She nudged him. "If you tell anyone I said that, I will hide your star wars DVDs."

He laughed. "I doubt anyone would believe me anyway." He leant down, capturing her lips with his in a brief kiss. She rolled her eyes at the grin that was gracing his features when he pulled away.

"You're an idiot."

"I like being able to do that. I love being able to kiss you any time I want."

She groaned when she noticed a familiar glint in his eye. "You just remembered a movie, didn't you?"

"Sweet Home Alabama." He announced. "You're going to love it. Great cast, Reese Witherspoon, Josh Lucas, Patrick Dempsey..."

"Isn't that the guy with the hair?" She let out a laugh at the expression he responded with. "I spend a lot of time around the bellas. Hair seems to be a selling point."

"You're only with me for my hair?!" She rolled her eyes at his dramatic mock outrage.

"Dork."

"That really hurts, Bec, I thought we had a real connection here."

"You're such a weirdo."

"A weirdo with great hair?"

She shrugged. "It'll do. What movie are we watching tomorrow night?"

"I thought we could go out." He suggested. "You're here every night, and I love it, honestly, I do, but I want to take you out."

"Okay. Where?"

"You'll see."

"Jesse."

"You'll love it. I promise."


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the wait, I got held up writing other things.**

* * *

" _I don't want to wear that one!"_

" _You picked this out weeks ago. Remember, you said you'd wear a dress to grandma's if you chose it."_

" _I don't want to!"_

" _Beca, please, it's just for a couple of hours."_

" _No." Beca stared defiantly at her father._

" _Sweetie, please, just for the party."_

" _No."_

 _He sighed, and she knew that she had won the battle. "At least take the jacket off, Bec, it's warm outside."_

" _I'm cold." She shrugged._

" _Are you sick?" He placed a hand to her forehead before his gaze turned sceptical. "Beca take the jacket off."_

" _No."_

" _Look, I don't care what kind of state you've got your shirt into, but I won't have you boiling to death, take it off."_

 _She bit her lip, he was right, it was really hot out, and he wasn't just going to give up so easily this time. Slowly, she unzipped the jacket, pulling it off of her arms and dropping it to the floor._

" _Was that really such a big..." He cut off, reaching for her arm and lightly pushing up the short sleeve of her shirt just a little. "Beca what happened?"_

" _I fell."_

 _He moved to the other arm, checking that. "On both arms? Sweetie, those bruises, they look like someone grabbed you. Who was it?" She stayed silent, gazing down at her feet. "Bec?" A shrug. "Was it your brother?" She shook her head, not wanting to let Brandon be punished for something he hadn't done. "These aren't old, kiddo, they happened while you were here, I need you to tell me who it was."_

 _Beca glanced up at him, feeling slightly reassured by the concern in his gaze. "She said she didn't mean to."_

"No."

"Who's the expert here?"

"That dress is so short it's non-existent!"

"Beca, it's a date." Stacie reminded her. "You need to dress to send a message."

"What message? That I forgot to put on clothes?"

"I have a dress exactly like this. It screams 'do me'. That's the message you want to be sending."

"Dude, no."

"Think of the date as foreplay..."

"No."

"You can't tell me you don't want it."

"We're not there yet."

"You've been together for like, six weeks, of course you're there." Stacie smirked. "And that wasn't an answer."

"Stacie, this is serious." Beca complained. "We usually just hang out and watch movies. This is an actual date, I don't even know where we're going, I told him I would suck at this but he... Oh God, he's turned me into one of _those_ girls."

"What girls?"

"The kind of girl that wants to make an effort for a guy. My life was so much easier when I didn't care."

"It's kind of nice to see you being a girl." Stacie commented. "And Jesse would _love_ this dress."

Beca looked at the item again, grimacing. "It's not really me."

"It's not as if you'd be wearing it for long."

"Stacie!" She looked over the dress again. "I don't know, I mean, I don't even know if Jesse likes this kind of stuff."

"All guys like this stuff." Stacie insisted. "Trust me, I know these things. There isn't anything that I don't know about guys. Or sex. I know a lot about that."

Beca sighed. "Maybe something longer?"

"How much longer?" Stacie questioned quickly glancing around the store. "What kind of message do you want to send?"

"That I'm not the worst girlfriend ever, I guess." Beca shrugged. "That I can be like all those other girls. That I can compete with them."

"Honey, they've been competing with you for months, and you and Jesse weren't even together then. If Jesse wanted one of those other girls, he could have."

"That doesn't make me feel better."

"It should." Stacie shrugged. "Even with your questionable fashion choices, Jesse's never been interested in anyone else that I've seen, and I have seen some try."

"Maybe this was a mistake."

"What?"

"You said it yourself, Jesse's not interested in this stuff, maybe I should just be casual."

"Beca." Stacie sighed. "You have a lot to learn. What you need is something that says 'I'm me, and I'm hot'. Something that stands out. Something like..." She turned, smiling as something caught her eye. "Something like that."

" _So..." Beca focused on the boy sitting across from her as he spoke. "Is it true?"_

" _Is what true?"_

" _I heard your dad used to beat you, and now you don't see him."_

 _She stared at him for a few moments, trying to force the anger she was beginning to feel back inside as her mind raced while she tried to figure out just how to respond to his question. She's only agreed to this date as an attempt to get her mother off of her back about putting herself out there more, but it still hurt to realise that she had only been asked in order for Aiden to act on his own curiosity. "No." She finally stated. "It's not true."_

" _Oh." The teenager was temporarily silenced. "So you do see him?"_

" _No." Beca responded, keeping her tone cold. "But my dad never touched me. Or anyone else."_

" _I guess the rumours aren't true then."_

" _I guess not." She sighed, excusing herself before heading towards the diner's toilets, swearing that she would never go on a date again._

"Jess, where are we going?"

"We'll be there soon."

They hadn't been walking for long, and she had been relieved when he had arrived at her dorm room to pick her up dressed relatively casually. He'd been complimentary as to her appearance, but she hadn't really been put at ease until he had an arm around her, and they were talking like they'd known each other their whole lives. He had a way of doing that, putting her at ease, calming her down, and it was still a little strange to her. She was used to people making her feel anxious, and she hadn't quite figured out what it was about Jesse that did the complete opposite.

As he began to slow down, she looked up, noticing what he was pulling out of his bag. "You are unbelievable."

"You like it?"

She nodded. "You're really sentimental, aren't you?"

He chuckled. "Yep, but so are you, if you weren't you'd be confused."

She couldn't deny it, so instead looked over to the blanket that he had placed on the ground, the sole candle that had been put in the middle of it. "Are you going to light it?"

"That candle is a symbol of our first non work related, non car singing meeting. Fire would destroy it. Why would I destroy it?"

She couldn't help but laugh at his mock outrage. "Because it's a candle. Lighting them is what they're for."

"What it symbolises is far more important than it's function."

"You're such a weirdo."

He waited until they were both seated by the candle to reply. "We both are, but we're weirdos together." He reached into his bag, pulling out some juice pouches and holding one out to her. "For you."

"Wow, you really have gone all out."

"I thought you'd like it."

She gave a brief smile before quickly trying to hide it. "Do you have Rocky, too?"

"Now that you mention it..." He grinned as he pulled some Rocky Road candy bars from his bag. "I do."

"I'm impressed." She remarked. "It must have taken you hours to come up with something this cheesy."

"Only for you." He shot back, his grin not once faltering as he reached back into his bag, pulling something else out before handing it out to her. "Also for you."

"A DVD. I'm touched." She deadpanned, looking down at it. "The Addams Family?"

"It's about a family that are just like you." He beamed. "Moody, dark and scary with an indifference to humans. You'll love it."

She rolled her eyes. "Do they hate each other too?"

"Hard to tell. The kids do keep trying to kill each other. I have to ask that when we watch, you do not take inspiration from it."

"My brothers are the only people in my family that I'd like to keep around."

He nodded, sensing the change in mood. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." She shrugged. "Not yet." She paused, and it wasn't until she looked up at him that he noticed how unsure she seemed. "It's just... What would you do? If one day your life was perfect, and the next thing you know you're trapped and you're scared and you're too young to find a way out? What would you do if one day you had your dad, and then he changes, and then he stops being there."

He placed a comforting arm around her shoulders, lightly pulling her to him. "I'd probably be angry, and confused. I'd probably hate the world. You're meant to be able to rely on your parents when you're a kid, so I guess it would hurt if they let you down."

She leaned against him. "I'm kinda glad you don't know. I don't want anyone to know this feeling." A brief silence passed before she continued. "Ever since I was twelve, I have hated every person I've come across that hasn't been completely screwed over by their parents, every person that knows how to be happy. It's easier to hate them than to hate my dad."

"Do you hate him?"

"I don't know. I thought I did." She sighed. "It wasn't even his fault, but..."

Jesse frowned when she trailed off. "What wasn't his fault?"

"Nothing." She tried shrugging it off, moving to sit up properly as she desperately tried to wipe away stray tears. "It doesn't matter." She felt herself slowly begin to calm when she noticed the concern in his gaze. "I'm okay, I'm just... not ready."

"That's okay."

"I'm sorry for ruining our date."

"You haven't ruined anything." He insisted. "Beca, I never want you to be sorry for talking to me. As long as you feel okay with it, opening up will never ruin anything, it can only make things better. There's nothing you can tell me that will scare me off."

"How can you know that?"

"I know me. If I was going to get scared off, I would have already." He nudged her slightly. "I mean, you are pretty scary, and you haven't managed to scare me off yet, I think it's time you accepted that you're stuck with me."

"That is..." She paused. "Actually kind of terrifying. Is there something wrong with you? Do you like being punished when you've done nothing wrong? That's pretty weird."

"It's pretty new to me." He laughed, glad that his attempt to distract her from her thoughts seemed to have worked. "But I don't hate it."

She smiled. "Thanks... For listening... and for not asking more questions."

" _What the hell did you tell him for? I told you it was an accident!"_

 _Beca flinched the second she heard the voice, turning quickly towards the house and anxiously glancing towards the back doors, hoping that her father or brother would coincidentally choose this moment to come outside and check on her._

" _Well? Do you think you're being smart? Trying to come between your father and I?"_

 _Beca stayed silent, looking down at her feet and chewing on one of her nails, hoping she could wait it out._

 _She barely registered the shock when her face was suddenly grabbed, her chin pulled up to force her to face the woman that had decided to confront her. She tried not to cry at the nails digging into her skin. "If you can be this quiet around me, you can definitely shut it around your dad, too."_

"You're quiet today." Aubrey commented, looking up from the sheets in her hands. "Beca?"

Beca looked up, shrugging. "Not a lot to say, I guess."

"Since when?" The blonde seemed slightly disbelieving. "You always have something to say."

"I'm just tired," Beca sighed. "And I'm not even sure I can do this."

"You have to." Aubrey decided, her belief in the response almost convincing Beca herself. "I have not wasted all this time mentoring you for you to not take over when Chloe and I are no longer here."

"I know, but..."

"But nothing." Aubrey's tone was sharp. "I have put a lot of time and energy into making sure you can be at least half as good as me, and I'm not going to let that be wasted, especially considering the allowances I've made for you."

"Allowances?" Beca stood up. "What allowances? I don't need your permission to do anything."

"I sacrificed our long tradition of not dating trebles just to make sure we had someone even part-capable of meeting my very high standards. I didn't have to do that, but apparently you can't follow even the most basic of rules and none of the others could cut it..."

"I disagree."

"I understand that you feel the need to cause needless conflict whenever possible, but..."

"Aubrey, aren't we past this?" Beca sighed, relenting more out of a need to prevent the prolonging of this 'guidance session' that the blonde had decided was mandatory out of nowhere. "We got rid of that rule, and even if we hadn't, you're done now, you're graduating, it's not your problem any more, and it really doesn't seem that hard."

"Not that hard?" Aubrey put in. "Trying to organise a group that refuses to be organised is as difficult as things get!"

"I doubt that, but okay."

"You really need to start taking this seriously, Beca. Leaving the Bellas to you concerns me."

"Of course." Beca sighed, inwardly groaning. "I'm sure we'll be fine. I know what I'm doing, and the others know what they're doing, we don't really need a leader."

"Of course they need a leader!" Aubrey exclaimed. "They need someone to look up to, someone they respect. Someone with the required skill set, and as that can no longer be Chloe or myself, you are the next best option."

"I'm not really into the whole leader thing. I work best when I don't have to talk, and as a group we work better when we listen to each other..."

"Someone needs to be in charge. That is you."

"Sure." Her agreement was more to stop Aubrey from giving her another long-winded explanation, after all, once she had graduated, she wouldn't know what was going on within the Bellas. "I get it, and I will try to be half as good as you."

Aubrey gave a smug smile of satisfaction, and Beca made a quick exit as soon as she could, almost sprinting back towards her dorm before she could be stopped. It wasn't until her destination was in sight that she slowed down a little almost stopping in her tracks when the door of her building came into view.

"BECAAAA!" The shriek came almost as soon as she was spotted, and the source came bounding towards her, running straight into her legs. "I came to visit with you!"

"When did you get here?" She queried, allowing the small boy to grab her hand. They approached the others standing at the door, shooting a questioning gaze to the older of the two men, her stepfather. "You didn't tell me you were coming. Is mom here too?"

"She's working all week, but I had business in the area, so Al and I figured we'd come and surprise you."

"Why?"

"Is it really so wrong of us to want to visit?"

"No, it's just weird, since when did you just show up?"

Harrison sighed, glancing between her and Brandon. "Since neither of you called for three days. You know your mom worries."

"I told you, if something was wrong we'd call." Brandon shrugged. "The worrying should be when we do call." He glanced over at Beca, a knowing grin on his face that she knew was never a good sign. "Beca's probably been too busy with her boyfriend to remember to call."

"Boyfriend?"

"Erm... yeah." Beca tried brushing it off. "It's kind of new."

"You know I'm going to need more than that when I tell your mother."

"You could always just not tell her?"

"You know that's not an option, Bec." Harrison sighed. "Does he treat you well?"

"You're as bad as Brandon!" She glared over at her older sibling. "Don't think I don't know about that interrogation." She looked down at her younger brother. "You want to go and get some ice cream, kiddo?" Alex nodded, and Beca immediately began walking, almost groaning at the expected sound of her stepfather catching up with them. "Is Brandon coming too? Because I really don't feel like being harassed about Jesse right now."

"So his name's Jesse." She could tell he was amused by her response, his mellow attitude towards life had always annoyed her, he was impossible to wind up. She rolled her eyes, but slowed down when she realised that Alex was struggling to keep up with her. "When do I get to meet this Jesse?"

She groaned, and was about to throw a sarcastic comment back at him until she saw Jesse himself watching her, his obvious curiosity the only thing distracting her from his faint smile. She almost froze, but the warmth in his eyes reassured her, and it was enough to encourage her to at least get it over with. "Now, I guess." She led them over to him, trying to mask her reaction to Jesse kissing her cheek, the last thing she wanted was Harrison reporting that back to her mother. "Jesse, this is my mom's loser husband." She gestured behind her before smiling down at the boy. "This is Alex, my brother."

Jesse gave a soft smile. "That's a real cool shirt, Alex, where did you get it?"

"My mommy."

"Do you think I could get one from my mommy?"

Alex shrugged. "Maybe."

Jesse crouched down, addressing the significant height difference. "That's great. I really like dinosaurs, they're cool."

"I like the big one. It goes ROARRRR!"

"They can be real loud." Jesse nodded. "What else do you like?"

"Ummmmmm..." Alex glanced up at his sister before responding. "Ice cream!"

"I like ice cream too!" Jesse exclaimed.

"Maybe you could join us?"

He took the older man's comment as his cue to stand up, and noted the anxious look on his girlfriend's face before reaching out to take her hand in an attempt to reassure her. "Sure, I have a bit of time." He held out his free hand. "Jesse. Jesse Swanson."

"Harrison Stannard." The handshake was brief, but strong. "Loser stepdad. Considering putting that rave review on my business cards."

" _I'm sorry, daddy."_

" _What for?"_

" _I promise I won't be bad again."_

" _Bec." The concern in his eyes was overwhelming. "When were you bad?"_

" _When you saw my arms were hurt."_

 _He reached out for her, pulling her into a hug. "That wasn't bad, kiddo. You shouldn't hide things like that from me."_

" _But she said not to tell." Beca shrugged. "If it was an accident I'm not supposed to tell."_

" _Baby, you should always tell me."_

" _But she said not to."_

" _That's wrong." He smiled softly. "Frankie doesn't have kids, so she doesn't know, sometimes she'll say things and do things that are wrong. Do you understand?"_

" _I think so."_

"I'm sorry for ambushing you like that." Beca apologised the second her stepfather left the building. "I didn't know what to do, he just showed up. Brandon totally ditched me with him after telling him about you and I just freaked out and wanted to get it over with because..."

"Bec, it's fine." Jesse chuckled, cutting her ramble short. "It was bound to happen eventually, today was as good a day as any, and it seemed to go pretty well to me."

"He didn't point out every flaw, so I guess that's something."

"Me, flaws? Really?" Jesse smirked playfully. "We both know I don't have those."

"Nerd."

"It was nice to get to hang out with Alex."

"Yeah, about that..." Beca decided to comment on the instant bond he had formed with her younger brother. "Are you like, a child whisperer or something? Because Alex usually hates everyone over the age of six."

"With a sister that's all sunshine and roses? I doubt that."

"Seriously. He hates me most of the time."

"I don't see how he could."

"I never really made an effort." Beca shrugged. "I was a teenager when my mom got pregnant, I hated it, I don't hate Alex, I never hated Alex, but I felt like my mom was trying to replace Brandon and I with a new kid with her new husband, and that didn't go away for a long time."

"You didn't talk to them about it?"

"I didn't talk to anyone. It's not just people here that I shut out, it's..."

"Everyone."

"Except you." She gave a soft smile. "I've always found it difficult to let people in but you make it so easy, maybe that's what Alex has responded to."

"He's a great kid."

"Yep. Better than I ever was."

"That's not true."

"You didn't even know me when I was a kid."

"I know you now, you couldn't be who you are now if you weren't a great kid."

"You're way too accepting of how messed up I am."

"Going through a lot doesn't make you messed up." He countered. "It makes you strong, and I don't need to know the details to know how amazing that makes you." He pulled her onto his bed next to him, kissing her lightly. "If I have to spent my whole life showing you how awesome you are I will, you know that, right?"

"Your whole life?"

"Um..." He hesitated for a moment. "Yeah. I hope that doesn't scare you."

"It should." She admitted. "It usually would, but... It doesn't."

He smiled, pulling her closer to him than she had even thought possible. "I'm in your corner, okay? No matter what."

"Okay."


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry this took a while. I kind of lost track of everything.**

* * *

" _Daddy?"_

" _Hey, kiddo." Beca frowned as her father lifted her up as he always did after long separations. "You okay?"_

 _She nodded. "What happened to your eye?"_

" _Daddy was clumsy. Fell over at work." He glanced over her shoulder, holding her firmly in his arms. "Is Brandon ready?"_

" _Just getting his bag." Beca watched her mother step back, glancing towards the stairs before picking up Beca's own bag and handing it to her father. "I need them back on time on Friday. We have dinner reservations."_

 _Beca grinned. "Harry's taking us to a big hotel for dinner and there's going to be cakes."_

" _That sounds great, baby." There was a sense of unease in his eyes at the idea of another man being there in his place with his children, but he tried not to let it show. "Any ideas about what you want to do tomorrow?"_

" _Skating?" Beca suggested. "Brandon helped me learn."_

" _That sounds great."_

" _As long as you're careful." Eleanor put in. "The last time she came home from yours she had bruises all over. Don't let her forget her helmet and knee protection."_

 _Beca glanced warily at her father, wondering if he would admit that he never had forgotten either of those things. He shrugged, smiling as Brandon walked out the door. "Hey, ready to go?"_

 _Brandon shrugged. It wasn't until some minutes later when they were in the car that he finally spoke. "So she hits you too, now?"_

"Dad?"

"Hey, kiddo."

"You're really going to have to stop calling me that."

"Why?" He questioned, curiosity in his gaze. "You're always going to be kiddo to me."

"I'm not a kid now." She shrugged. "I haven't been for a long time." She sat down next to him, watching him for a moment. "What did you want to talk about?"

He sighed. "I wasn't planning on telling you or your brother this when it first came up, but I realised that if we're going to move past this, we need to be completely honest with each other."

"Okay..." Beca frowned, noting the seriousness in his tone. "What is it?"

He hesitated. "It's Frankie. She's got a parole hearing coming up. I've been asked to speak on her behalf."

Beca was silent for a moment, opting to stare into the distance while she gathered her thoughts. "Are you going to do it?"

"Sheila thinks it may be good for my recovery to have my say, but I can't say what her team want me to say. They want me to say that I've forgiven her, that I'd feel safe if she were back in the community."

"Have you?" Beca asked. "Forgiven her?"

He shook his head. "I forgave her for what she did to me a long time ago, Bec." A hesitation. "But I'll never be able to forgive her for what she did to you."

"So you're not going to go?" She questioned. "You're not going to talk?"

"I am." He elaborated. "Sheila's right. I need to say something. It's just not going to be what her people want me to say. I'm not going to lie for her. Not any more." He let out a sigh. "I contacted the parole board, told them I want to speak at this hearing."

"When is it?"

"A couple of weeks." He frowned, making sure she was listening before continuing. "I want you to think about whether you want to talk too. You don't have to, but I failed you so many times when you were younger, and I felt that if I didn't give you this opportunity then I'd be failing you again."

"Would I have to see her?"

"Not if you don't want to. You can have your say over video, or even a letter."

"Will she get out if I don't?"

"I wish I could give you a straight answer, kid, but to be honest I don't know. I promise, though, if she does get out, I won't let her hurt you again."

"You can't really promise that." Beca sighed, standing. "It doesn't matter, I'm not a little kid any more, I can look after myself."

"I know you can."

His voice was tinged with sadness, and Beca wasn't quite sure how to react. Sure, she'd seen him unsure before, she'd seen him vulnerable, but this was different. He'd spent his entire life being powerless, but it seemed that remembering that now was somehow far more painful than it had been all those years before.

"I know you won't let her hurt me, dad. You never let her hurt me."

"I did." He finally let out. "I let her every time I didn't go to the police, every time I told you not to tell your mother, every time I didn't walk away from her."

She sat back down, biting her lip apprehensively. "Why didn't you walk away? Why didn't you leave her?"

"I don't know."

" _What the hell is wrong with you?"_

 _Beca didn't respond. She'd learned not to over the past couple of years. No matter what she said, it wouldn't calm Frankie's temper, it wouldn't stop her from lashing out. The only thing it could do was make it worse._

" _I'm getting sick of you, you know that?" The woman hissed. "Your dad acts like you're some perfect little angel, but I see right through you. Someone has to."_

 _When the hand connected with her face, Beca barely even flinched, she was used to it, she'd known it was coming. Frankie liked it when she flinched, she'd laugh if she achieved tears. Not giving her that was the only thing that Beca still had control over._

" _I bet you're laughing at me in that pretty little head of yours," Frankie raised her hand again, but the movement was halted before she struck another blow._

" _LEAVE HER ALONE!"_

 _Frankie turned, and her eyes instantly softened. "I'm sorry, Brandon, I know it upsets you when she needs to be punished."_

" _She doesn't need to be punished, she didn't do anything wrong. You're just a bitch."_

" _Watch your tongue!"_

" _Make me."_

 _Beca glanced apprehensively at her brother, suddenly terrified that he would find himself on the wrong side of a fist. Frankie had always been different with Brandon, though, neither of them knew why, but she was always calmer, more patient. She'd taken to him when they'd first met, despite his obvious reluctance._

" _You really shouldn't get involved in discipline that doesn't concern you, Brandon. Go back to your video game."_

" _No." Brandon stepped forward, taking hold of Beca's hand. "If you touch her again, I'll tell Harry everything."_

"What's wrong with you?"

Beca didn't respond, continuing to stack CDs. It wasn't that she hadn't heard Jesse, it was more that she didn't know how to answer. If she told him what she was really thinking about he'd want to know more, he'd want to know how she's connected to this woman and her parole hearing, he'd figure out she was a victim. He'd look at her differently. She wasn't ready to see pity in his eyes. Not yet.

"Beca?"

She shrugged, hoping he wouldn't take her brush off personally. He'd always been good at reading her mood.

"I get that it's something you clearly don't want to talk about, but I'm worried about you." He was standing directly behind her, had caught her hand in his own and halted her work. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She claimed, but she knew her tone had given away the truth. With any other guy her answer would have been accepted without question, but with Jesse...

"No you're not." He turned her around, pulling her against his chest. "If you're this upset about it, maybe you need to talk about it?"

She pulled away from him roughly. "What? So I can relive everything? No thanks."

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, it doesn't even have to be me you talk to, just please, Beca, talk to someone."

"So you don't want to hear it?"

"Damn it, Beca that's..." He paused, altering his tone. "That's not what I said, Bec. I just want you to be comfortable with opening up."

"That's not even possible." She snapped, glancing towards the floor, focusing on the loose lace of her shoe. "Just drop it."

"Bec, you can't keep doing this to yourself..."

She looked up, scowling at him, somewhat satisfied when he backed away a step. "Doing what, Jesse? Dealing with the same shit I was dealing with long before I met you? I'm fine, your duty is done, you can go now."

He sighed, reaching forward. Her reaction was instant, and for a split second she prayed he hadn't noticed, but his hand had paused in mid air, his gaze was questioning, concerned, and she knew there was no way he'd just drop this now.

"Beca what was that?"

"Nothing." She shrugged, turning around and going back to her CDs, noting Jesse's bag laying on the table beside her. Of course, that had been his real aim, picking up his bag.

"Nothing?" He repeated. "Beca, you flinched. What was that?"

"Nothing."

"That was not nothing. You thought I was going to hit you?"

"No." She denied. "I know that you'd never do that."

"I would never hurt you. Not in that way, not in any way."

"I know."

"So why did you flinch?"

"I just did."

"Bec..." He wasn't angry, she could tell by the tone of his voice, he was concerned. "Flinching isn't something that you just do."

She shrugged again, looking down. "I do."

He sighed. "Who hurt you?"

"No one." She looked back to his eyes, desperate to see that he believed her, he didn't, and it took mere moments for her to realise that his gaze had moved to the scar on her hairline. "I told you, I tripped on the front step."

His eyes met hers. "You told me you fell down the stairs."

"It's the same thing." She tried to cover. "They're both steps."

"That's not the same thing, Bec."

"Yes." She tried. "It is."

He watched as she grabbed her own bag, stalking out of the station before he could say another word. He knew it wouldn't have helped anyway, she was agitated, and when she got that way she closed herself off. He'd have to try a gentler approach next time.

" _Dad?"_

" _Hey, bud." He was met with a warm smile that was betrayed by the sadness in the older man's eyes. "Come on in."_

 _Jesse moved forward, sitting in the chair across from his father. "Are you okay?"_

" _Yeah." Another smile that was betrayed by the eyes. "Just a difficult day at work."_

" _Do you think the kid will be okay?"_

" _I hope so, Jess." A sigh. "I really hope so." He watched as his father let out a yawn, rubbing his eyes before looking back at him. "What did you want, kid? Bed time story?"_

" _Dad, I'm twelve."_

" _What's your point?" He laughed at the knowing smirk that appeared on his dad's face._

" _I'm totally too old for that." He paused. "I was just wondering..." He hesitated, only continuing when he gained an encouraging nod. "If your work upsets you so much, why do you do it? Why don't you quit?"_

" _It's not that easy." He gave a faint smile. "Someone has to care about those kids, Jess. Not all kids are as lucky as you and your brother and sister. Some kids have it tough, and someone needs to speak for them, someone needs to be there for them. I decided before you were even born that I wanted to be that person. I wanted to make life better for other people, I wanted to help."_

" _I don't get why it has to be you."_

" _Who else is there?" The question was rhetorical. "Horrible things happen in the world, Jess, and if you can make even one of those things better, then you should."_

" _How do you know if you can make something better?"_

" _For me it usually comes from hospital or police referrals. Sometimes though, sometimes the people that need your help the most come right to you."_

" _Not everyone wants help, dad. I tried helping Isaac with his homework earlier and he threw a pencil at my head."_

" _He's an interesting one, that brother of yours." His dad laughed. "Sometimes the people that need you the most won't be easy to get through to, but it's worth it. When you make that breakthrough it's worth it."_

He'd never seen that look in her eyes before. That brief moment of fear and panic before she had realised what was going on. That brief moment where she thought, even for that split second, that he could ever lay a hand on her, hell, that he could ever hurt her. It pained him that she could ever think that, but knowing that that panic, that terror that he had seen in her eyes, had had to come from somewhere, made him feel physically sick. He'd always been full of questions, ones that he had never asked out of a need to respect her boundaries, and now he couldn't help but wonder if that had been the wrong decision. Would he have avoided seeing that fear if he had pushed her into opening up a little more? Somehow he doubted it.

He was walking fast, ignoring the looks coming his way as he moved. He couldn't be his mild, happy self right now. Not now. He needed to have some idea what was going on. Some idea of how to help her.

His target saw him approaching, stopping and watching as he drew nearer. There were no questions as their eyes met, as they finally came face to face. Just a statement.

"She told you."

It was then that Jesse let out a frustrated sigh, allowing himself to attempt to let go of some of the anger boiling up inside him. "No, but I saw."

"What happened?" Brandon's concern for his sister was a quality Jesse admired. "Is she okay?"

"She thought I was going to hit her." He was quick to continue when a protective hostility overtook the older man's expression. "I wasn't, but she thought I was, she flinched."

Brandon visibly relaxed. "What did she say about it?"

"That it was nothing."

"Maybe you should go with that, then."

"We both know it wasn't nothing." Jesse was quick to shut him down. "Someone hurt her?"

"I really think you need to be talking to Beca about this."

"She won't talk to me." Jesse admitted. "She's not ready, and that's okay, but she's struggling. She's struggling and she's keeping it all inside. I need to know. I need to know so that I can help her."

"I'm not going to tell you things she's clearly not ready for you to know." Brandon remained calm. He took a step back. "Just hang in there, okay. You're closer than anyone else has got before."

"I'm worried about her."

Brandon shrugged. "I'll talk to her, okay? I'll check in with her."

"Don't just believe her if she says she's okay. She's not."

"Honestly," Brandon began. "I don't think you'd be like this if she was okay. Look, I was there, if she needs to talk about it, she'll talk to me. She'll be okay."

"What if she's not?"

"She will be." Brandon took another step back. "We'll make sure of it."


	8. Chapter 8

**The story and I started getting along again :)**

* * *

 _Beca watched her stepfather, trying to take in every expression. His eyes had somewhat darkened since she had answered his question, a sure sign that he knew she was lying, but he couldn't force her to talk, she didn't even need to convince him of her honesty, she just needed to get him to back off._

" _That doesn't make sense." She was surprised by the simplicity of his statement when he finally spoke again. "You're always so careful when you're on your trampoline here."_

" _I was trying a new trick." Beca repeated the lie. "I fell on my arm."_

" _That just doesn't sound like you, Beca." He sighed. "Look, if you and your brother were messing about and..."_

" _We weren't." Beca interrupted. "Brandon wasn't even there."_

 _The man sighed, sitting across from the eleven year old. "You know you can always talk to me, right? No matter what?"_

" _Yes."_

" _Bec, I just want you to be able to tell me the truth."_

The door to his dorm was open when she approached, and she found herself praying that it was Benji she'd find inside. After three days of avoiding Jesse, she still wasn't sure if she was ready to face him following what had happened that day at work. Brandon had told her that Jesse had been worried enough to approach him, had encouraged her to open up even if it was just a little more. He'd been calling, but she hadn't answered, unsure as to what she would say, but she knew she couldn't avoid him forever, especially considering how fast their impending physical separation was approaching.

She leaned on the door frame, watching for a moment as he placed a DVD back in it's case and returned the object to it's place. His back was still to her when she took a step in, but she had a feeling that he knew she was there. He always knew.

"You don't have to tell me." He hadn't turned to her, but she could see his eyes on her reflection in the mirror.

"I do." She bit her lip. "It's just... it'll change everything, and I like how things are."

He turned to her, giving her a weak smile. "It could make things even better?"

"It never has before." She took another step forward. "It just... it complicates things."

"I can deal with complicated." He reassured her. "There's nothing you can say that will change how I feel about you."

She sighed, sitting down on his bed and dropping her head into her hands, of course he'd be perfect about this. She closed her eyes, letting out a steady breath before looking up at him. "Her name was Frankie. She was my dad's girlfriend, and... she didn't like me." He made a move towards her but she held up a hand, if this was going to change things like she expected it to, she needed to make sure he didn't feel obligated to stay by her side. She needed to be able to see his face. "This scar..." She moved her fingers to her chin, brushing the barely visible mark that Jesse had mentioned once before. "It wasn't a skateboarding accident. Brandon broke a plate once. She pushed me onto it."

His expression was unreadable. He took one solitary step towards her, reaching out his hand. This time she didn't stop him, and took it, allowing him to pull her into a standing position. Their eyes met briefly before he pulled her against him, and she understood what his actions meant, even with no words. This changed nothing.

She let out a sob she hadn't even realised she had been holding in, and almost immediately he was rubbing her back, his other hand playing absent-mindedly with her hair.

"I wish I had been there."

It was just a murmur, but she had heard it. "There's nothing you could have done."

He pressed a soft kiss to her crown, still holding her against him. "I could have tried."

"You were just a kid, too." She pointed out. "And I got through it, it's no big deal."

Neither of them felt the need to point out the obvious – that she hadn't got through it, but they both knew that if that were true, she'd have said a lot more than she currently had, that she'd admit that it was a big deal.

He sighed. "I would never do that to you, I couldn't."

"I know." She murmured into his chest before taking a step back and forcing a smile. "It would be one hell of a coincidence for those exact circumstances to come up again."

"Bec..."

"It didn't even hurt that much, it was just the shock, you know?"

"Beca..."

"It was hard at the time." She gave him the acknowledgement that she believed he was looking for. "But it was pretty much over before it started."

"Bec, if it was..." He started, cutting off briefly when she took a step back from him. "If it was a one time thing you wouldn't have flinched."

"She just yelled a lot." Beca shrugged. "When she hurt me, that's when we stopped seeing dad."

She could tell he wasn't sure, but was relieved when he gave a brief nod, enabling her to drop the subject. She did feel a little better, she had to admit, but she'd seen the pain in his eyes, it didn't feel right to burden him with the full details, especially not so soon into their relationship.

"I've missed you." He commented, pulling her back to him. "We are really going to need to figure out this summer because if I can barely manage three days then three months isn't going to work for me."

"You really think we can make it work?"

"Sure." He nodded, loosening his hold to enable her to step back. "I want to run something by you. Don't freak out, okay."

"Okay?"

"My family always go on a trip every June." He started. "Yesterday I asked my parents if you could come too." He felt her tense briefly. "It's a couple of weeks, I'll be there the whole time. I completely get it if it's too soon but..."

"Okay." She agreed. "Only if you're sure your family are okay with it."

He smiled. "My mom can't wait. She's been bugging me about wanting to meet you ever since she found out you'd spoken to Heather that one time. Apparently it's "not right" that my sister got to talk to you before she did."

Beca laughed. "Did you tell her that wasn't planned?"

"She doesn't care." He elaborated. "So I can tell her you're coming?"

Beca nodded. "My mom might be a problem though. I mean, she can't stop me, but I doubt she'd be comfortable with it if she hasn't met you."

"So maybe I come to you before then?" He suggested. "We have a few weeks off before the trip, I could come to yours for the week before it? That way she could meet me, and we wouldn't have to be apart too long."

"Are you sure you don't want more time with your family?"

"Heather and Isaac will still be in school, and we'll spend two weeks with them on the trip." He shrugged, before he saw what he considered to be a flaw in the plan. "If you're with us for two weeks, but I'm only at yours for a week before we leave, I'll owe your mom a week."

"You wouldn't owe her it." Beca laughed. "Although she probably would expect it. God, she's going to be impossible."

"Impossible?"

"I haven't exactly introduced her to a boyfriend before, she'll be unbearable. I should probably apologise to you in advance, or something."

"I'm sure it'll be fine." He laughed. "Moms love me."

"Really?" She smirked. "You know she's married, right?"

"Ha ha." He responded, unable to hide his smile at the idea of her joking about something. It wasn't something that she did that often, but it was something he always loved to hear. "That's fine. I kinda have a thing for her daughter, anyway."

She scoffed, rolling her eyes at the typical comment. "You're so embarrassing."

He chuckled as she hid her face in his shoulder. She always seemed to get flushed whenever he said something like that, and he loved that about her. It was a trait he had started finding all the more endearing since she herself had stopped running from her feelings. "You're perfect, you know that?"

"Stop it." It was a mumble against his shirt, but he heard it clearly, could feel her breath impacting the thin material. "I like that smell."

"What smell?" She took a step back, her eyes widening in alarm at the question. His concern grew when she began anxiously glancing around the room, trying to avoid eye contact at all costs. "Beca?"

"I...um..." She was stuttering, something else he didn't take as a good sign. "I have to go now. I'll see you tonight?"

He nodded, speechless as she quickly darted out the room, leaving the confused man in her wake.

" _Daddy?"_

" _Yes, princess?"_

" _Daddy, I'm not a princess, I'm too old." The nine year old watched her father intently, shifting from foot to foot under his gaze. She really didn't know what to expect in response to her question. "Daddy? Do you love Frankie?"_

 _He nodded. "Very much, sweetie."_

" _Why?"_

" _It's not really easy to explain."_

" _Then how do you know?" She watched him carefully, trying to figure out what he was thinking. It wasn't as easy as it used to be, and that made her nervous. "If you did then you could say why?"_

" _Love is complicated, kiddo." He gestured for her to sit opposite him, carefully contemplating his answer. "There's no explaining it."_

" _That's stupid." She was defiant, there was no way she was taking that for an answer. As far as she could tell, there was nothing about Frankie that was even likeable, so someone loving her definitely didn't make any sense. "If you can't then you don't love her."_

" _Bec." Her father sighed, taking in her scowl. "When you love someone, it's not really something you can understand, it's something you feel. One day you'll feel it, Beca. You'll get it then."_

Of all the things her father had ever told her, this was one of the few she had continually questioned him on. It didn't make sense. She'd always expected things to have an explanation. She thrived on explanations, on fact, on logic, on things that could be measured, proven in some way. She'd rolled her eyes at the memory of her father's words when she was sixteen and studying that romance novel in school – clearly love could be explained.

Of course, she now knew that that wasn't the case. That no book could ever do this feeling justice. Nothing could measure it, there was no possible test, it just was. Her dad had been right, she knew that no matter how she tried to explain this, no words would ever seem to properly convey it, none would ever be enough, no matter how long she searched for them.

It had shocked her. She'd never even considered that she could ever feel this way, and now that she did, she was floored by how supposedly instant it had been. She didn't understand how she could go from not knowing one second, to being consumed by it the next. How one minute she could be hiding her obvious embarrassment at his cheesy comments, and the next be caught off guard by her own heart.

She'd made assumptions about love before. That it probably wouldn't happen to her, that she didn't want it to. That it was probably a gradual build up, it wasn't like meeting someone that you took an instant dislike to, love took so much more than that, it took really knowing someone, flaws and all, and somehow finding a way to not hate them for those flaws. This hadn't taken years like she had told herself it would. And that terrified her.

She hadn't even known him a year. Being this reliant on him this soon, especially so soon after beginning to try and really let him in, couldn't be a good thing. She knew that. She was terrified of becoming too needy, too monopolizing of his time. She was worried that he didn't feel the same way. Sure, she knew he liked her, but this was a whole different word with a whole different meaning, and it really had, as far as she could tell, confront her out of nowhere.

But had it?

Even before they had been together she had been more than willing to do things for him that she would never even consider doing for anyone else – not just watching movies, which she had to admit wasn't so bad when he was there with her, but helping him study, listening when he needed someone to confide in, laughing at his jokes, even when they weren't funny. As newly recognised as this was, it wasn't exactly new in itself. This had been going on for months.

She didn't understand how such a simple moment could turn into one of the most life changing realisations of her life. How she could comment on his scent, and realise it's the smell of home because of one little question. How did that even happen?

She wandered aimlessly around campus, unable to really focus on a particular destination. Usually she'd go to Jesse when she felt this way and talk out her anxieties, but she couldn't exactly go to him with this, she couldn't tell him this way, and that's if she could even tell him at all. She was at a loss. She couldn't go to her mother about it, she would be even more overbearing and questioning as usual, she'd probably show up and insist on meeting Jesse, there was no way he wouldn't find out then.

She wanted to tell him. Telling him wasn't easy, though. She couldn't put herself out there like that and risk the sting of rejection, she'd never survive it, and even if she could tell him, she had no idea how to do that. The Bellas had discussed their past relationships before, but she'd always opted out of those conversations, believing it to be none of their business, and had tuned out most of the talk. Now she was wishing she hadn't. Talking to her dad was out of the question, the last thing she needed was Jesse to become the subject of a "dad" talk. She was stumped.

She stalled at their usual spot, staring at the grass as if it would somehow make things clearer for her if only she watched it grow for a while. After a few moments she all but threw herself on the ground, barely restraining herself from the frustrated groan she knew would distract other students in the area if she let it out – the last thing she wanted was other people asking questions. She'd been there for a few minutes, staring up through the leaves when she heard the voice.

"Hey, sis."

She sat up, looking her brother right in the eye. "I'm in love with Jesse."

She regretted it almost as soon as it was out of her mouth. This was Brandon she was talking to, there was no way she would ever hear the end of it now. Damn her and her damn feelings and her inability to keep her mouth shut.

Brandon stared at her for a moment, then shrugged, sitting himself down next to her. "Duh."

She was taken aback by his comment, the literal shrugging off of what had been the biggest revelation of her entire life. "Duh? That's all you have to say about this?"

"It's not exactly new information." He took a sandwich out of his pocket, offering her a bite. "Nice to see that you've figured it out, though."

Her eyes narrowed. "One – this is new information because this whole thing is new, and Two – No I don't want your pocket sandwich."

"You should. It's good." He took a bite shooting her a quick thumbs up as he gestured towards the food. "Really good. The future, probably."

"Your sandwich is not the future." She scowled, tempted to knock the thing out of his hand. "It's a sandwich."

"An awesome sandwich." He insisted, not even trying to hide the smirk. "You are so easy to wind up, you know that?"

"You are so not helping."

"Helping with what?" He questioned. "Aren't you a little too old to need my help with your homework?"

"I love him, Brandon!" She repeated. "I don't know what to do with that!"

Brandon laughed, finishing up his food. "Okay, there is a very specific process you need to follow here. If you miss even one step, the whole plan falls apart."

She nodded. "Okay."

"What you do is, you stand up, and you walk over to Jesse's building. Once you're there, you open the door, you go up to his dorm room, and you tell him."

"I can't tell him." She shot back. "It would freak him out. Why would I do that?"

Brandon rolled his eyes, it was an action that Beca rarely saw from her brother, although she was sure he was more than used to seeing it from her. "I don't think anyone could freak out as much as you are. Relax, Bec, you're acting like this is a bad thing."

She sighed. "What if it is?"

"It's not."

"Love has never really been a good thing before. Not for us." She reminded him. "Dad loved mom, that didn't work out, he still left us. He loved Frankie and we both know what happened there. It's just a sure way to get hurt, and now I've opened myself up to that, I..."

"Jesse isn't dad, and he definitely isn't Frankie. Mom and Harry are doing fine." Brandon shrugged, watching her carefully. He had expected some sort of freak out when she realised what he had figured out a while back, this was mild compared to what he was expecting. "And besides, if I figured it out, Jesse probably already knows."

"How did you figure it out."

"You serenaded the guy." He pointed out. "That was a big clue, but honestly, it was seeing how torn you were about telling him the Frankie stuff. You've never even considered telling anyone before, so for you to even think about that he has to be a pretty big deal."

"He is." She confirmed. "It just feels too soon."

"You don't have to tell him until you're ready, you know. After how you were with him for months, I think it's obvious the guy isn't going anywhere. If you didn't scare him off then, you're not going to now."

"You think?"

"Bec, I wouldn't encourage this if I thought you'd get hurt. I've known you your whole life, I know how you react when that happens. I will always be here for you, whenever you need me, it's just that now, so will he."


	9. Chapter 9

" _Don't cry, princess. I'll see you soon, I promise."_

 _Beca clung to her father, tears staining her cheeks. "I don't want you to go."_

" _I have to go." He knelt in front of her, pulling her into his arms. "I really wish I didn't, but I can't pass up this job. I promise you, everything will be so much better from now on."_

" _No it won't." She ripped herself out of his arms, scowling at him through her tears. "It won't ever be better." She turned, stomping up the stairs, turning back to her father when she reached the top step. "I hate you."_

"One week." Jesse repeated for what must have been somewhere around the 20th time that day. "One week and we'll be together again."

Beca gave a small nod. She wasn't sure if he was repeatedly saying it to remind himself or to reassure her, but she was grateful for it all the same. "One week."

"And we'll talk every day." He smiled. "It'll be like we were never apart."

She knew it wasn't true, but she appreciated the sentiment. He always tried for her. Jesse had this innate ability to overlook his own thoughts and feelings in order to prioritise someone else's. In order to prioritise her. She'd never really experienced anything like it before, sure, her mother and step-father had tried, but they had never been so attentive to her needs, they'd never understood her the way Jesse did.

"Hey." He interrupted her thoughts when he placed his hands on her arms from behind, pressing a kiss into her hair. "We're going to be fine."

She leaned back into him, nodding. "I know."

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you to the airport?"

She shook her head. "Brandon's sorted it all out with dad and I kind of feel like I should give him this, at least." She let out a sigh, turning in his arms. "Besides, your parents would be here before you got back."

He let out a groan. "I still cannot believe they're insisting on picking me up."

"It's nice." Beca looked down. "I think it is, anyway. It's nice that they care so much."

A part of Jesse wanted to state what he thought was obvious, that his mother was insisting on coming in the hopes of meeting his girlfriend before their planned trip together in a couple of weeks time, but he could sense the greater meaning in her words. "Bec, your parents care about you. All four of them."

She looked up, shooting him a brief smile. "I know, it's just... it's not the same. Your parents are both driving all the way out here for you, Brandon and I will be lucky if mom pays for the cab home from the airport."

"She's not picking you up?"

"She was going to." She moved away, sitting on the end of his bed. "She called this morning. She's been called into work. She said Harry will be there if he finishes on time, but if he isn't can we please pick Alex up from daycare on the way home."

"I guess it happens."

"All the time, with her." Beca wanted to throw herself back on the bed, but Jesse's half packed bags prevented the action. "Why do guys always leave packing until the last possible minute?"

He grinned, moving forward and pulling her back up. "Because packing meant confronting the fact that I'm going to spend a whole week in a different state to you, and I just didn't want to do that."

"You know what Brandon's doing right now?" She queried, brushing over his response. She wasn't ready to deal with that reality either. "Packing." She moved to the side, making her way over to the window, knowing that he'd follow. "Maybe I shouldn't expect you next Sunday. I mean, your flight is at noon so you probably won't start packing until eleven. I should probably give you until at least Tuesday to show up."

"Hilarious." He smirked. "Both the joke, and your thinking that I'm not going to be packed and ready to go the second I get home."

"By not unpacking everything to begin with?"

"Precisely."

"Even if it needs washing?"

"I've been organised enough to pack clean stuff only in two bags specifically for your place." He elaborated. "I'm all set. I promise. I won't be late, your family will love me, it'll all work out."

"The optimist in you is getting really annoying." She stated. "My mom will break you even if I couldn't."

"Your mom will love me." He decided. "We'll be baking cookies together before the end of the week."

"Good luck with that."

"I don't need luck. Moms love me." He placed his hands on her shoulders. "You don't need to worry about it."

She turned around, resting her forehead on his chest. "I'm more worried that you won't like her."

"Why wouldn't I like her?"

"She's not exactly...warm." Beca shrugged. "She hasn't been for a while now."

"I thought you said she'd make a big deal about you having a boyfriend?"

"She will." Beca confirmed. "But the novelty will wear off, it always does." She hesitated, glancing up at him unsurely. "Things changed when Brandon and I stopped seeing dad. Stuff happened and it was like she didn't know how to relate to us anymore."

"I'm sure it isn't personal." He tried. "Maybe you just need some time to reconnect."

"It's been six years." Beca moved back towards his bed, proceeding to pack for him. She could do with this distraction. "There's been moments, sure, but mainly she just works."

"And your brother? The younger one."

"She took about two weeks off. Harry pretty much stepped up when mom stepped back."

Jesse watched her for a moment. This was the most open she had been in a while, and as much as he was glad she was opening up to him, he couldn't help but wonder where it was coming from. Her mother had always been a rarely mentioned topic, and when she did come up it had usually only been to emphasise her expected reaction to her daughter's boyfriend. He'd hoped that meant she and her children were close, and Beca had never said anything to alter that impression before. "So you don't get on?"

"It's not really that." Beca shrugged. "More that she never really understood me, and sometimes it feels like she never really tried. We were close when I was little but I guess it was easier back then."

"And Brandon?" He wondered how long she would continue talking before deciding she had said too much. "What about him?"

"Brandon never really wanted to be understood. He had his friends and his team. I never really had that."

"Have you ever talked to your mom about this?"

"Not much point." She reasoned, continuing to pack for him. He knew he should question it, but he also didn't want to risk changing the subject and her allowing it to be dropped entirely. "I thought about calling dad sometimes. Everything was too raw though, so I never did."

"That was allowed?"

"Yeah. There was never any ruling saying he couldn't see us or talk to us or anything like that. He kind of just gave up. Mom was angry, she blamed him and he didn't have it in him to fight."

"Is that why you were angry with him?"

She didn't answer, and he noticed her movement halt, her focus remaining on the cases in front of her. Almost a minute had passed before she turned to face him, biting her lip apprehensively. "Can we not talk about that?"

He gave an encouraging smile and the unsure look in her eyes, approaching her slowly and pulling her into his arms. "Whatever you want."

"You're sure?"

"You'll tell me when you're ready." He dropped a kiss to her crown. "Now, lets discuss the pressing issue of you packing for me. You explicitly stated that you would not do that."

 **-SH-**

" _Do you want to come and meet your baby brother?"_

 _Beca rolled her eyes, glancing down the hallway. "Not really."_

" _Why not?"_

" _It's a baby, it looks like a baby. Nothing special."_

" _I think he looks a bit like you."_

" _Doubt it. He's my half brother. We only share one parent."_

" _Come and see for yourself."_

" _You're not going to quit bugging me unless I do, are you?"_

 _Harrison laughed. "Not a chance, kid."_

"Where's the boy?!"

Beca glanced down at her younger brother, expecting to see him desperately searching for Brandon. Instead his eyes were fixed on her, an unimpressed scowl on his features. "Brandon's coming, Al."

"The _boy_." Alex repeated, this time more forcefully. "Where's the boy?"

Beca glanced up at Harrison, mouthing the words to him. "The boy?"

"I think someone likes his big sister's boyfriend."

"He's asking for Jesse?" Beca was sceptical. He'd only ever met him once. "He doesn't even know him."

"Your mom mentioned that he was coming." Harrison explained. "Alex figured out it was the dinosaur guy and now it's all he'll talk about."

"That's good, I guess." She turned, glancing over her shoulder to see if her older brother was approaching them, turning back to her step-father when she saw no sign of him. "Mom said you probably wouldn't be here."

"I cancelled a meeting." He explained, struggling to keep a hold of his young son's hand in the crowded airport. "Your mom mentioned she wasn't going to be able to be here. I figured one of us should be, wouldn't really be fair to leave you to deal with Brandon on your own any longer than you already have."

"So you're losing business? Smart."

"I rescheduled it, smartass." He elaborated, shifting to pick up his son. "It means I have to go back to work, though, so the two of you are going to need to take Alex this afternoon."

"What if I have plans?"

"You've made plans in the five minutes you've been off the plane?"

"I was going to call Jesse."

"The guy you've just spent months with?"

"Haven't you heard?" Beca didn't know whether to be relieved or annoyed by Brandon's interruption. "We're not good enough company for her now. Not now she's in love."

"Love?" Harrison laughed. "That's definitely something we need to talk about."

Beca scowled. "No it isn't."

Brandon wrapped an arm around his sister's shoulders, grinning triumphantly. "Beca really likes talking about it. Not to Jesse, but I can't shut her up."

"I actually hate you. You know that?"

"This is what I put up with, Harry." Brandon complained. "I'm there for her, I listen to her, I support her, and this is how she repays me."

"Some things never change." He nodded in the direction of the exit. "Are we going to leave or are we going to hang out here all day?"

Alex scowled at him. "Where's the boy?"

"I'm here, kid."

"He's not asking for you." Beca smirked. "He's asking for Jesse."

"The boy."

"You wound me Al." Brandon commented, placing his hand over his heart. "Right here."

Alex shrugged. "The boy."

"He gets that from you, you know." Brandon informed his sister. "The shrugging. You are corrupting our baby brother with the shrugging and the eye rolling. One of these days I'm going to come back and find him rocking a goth look."

"You're an idiot."

"The boy!" Alex repeated his demand looking between his older siblings.

"He'll be here next week."

"Now!"

"Next week, Alex." Harrison confirmed, beginning to walk away, the struggling boy still in his arms. "You two coming?" He let out a sigh, aware that his step-children were still within earshot. "Teenagers, Alex. Promise me you'll never be one."

"I'm 21!" Brandon protested, rushing to catch up. "Beca, I get, but I'm an adult."

"Act like it, maybe?" Beca suggested, choosing to trail behind the group as she took her phone out, opening her messages to text her boyfriend – Landed.

 **-SH-**

" _You're too soft with her."_

" _What else am I meant to do?"_

" _Take her back to her own bed. This is happening every night."_

" _She's five years old, Eleanor."_

" _Which is too old to keep sleeping in our bed with us."_

" _It's better than her not sleeping at all. The last time I put her back in her own bed she stayed up all night she was so scared."_

" _That was Brandon telling her stories. He won't do it again."_

Beca woke to the sound of her phone informing her she had a text, and after glancing over at the clock and checking the time, she picked the object up, lighting up the screen and smiling when she opened the message from her boyfriend – Missing you way too much x

She glanced to her other side before grabbing her laptop, opening skype to see, as she had hoped he would be, that he was still online. He answered almost immediately.

"Hey."

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" She tried to sound unimpressed, but her whispered tone and her inability to prevent herself from smiling were obvious giveaways.

"Shouldn't you?" He shot back, before his brow furrowed. "Is that your brother?"

She glanced down at Alex, asleep on the other side of her bed, only just within view of the camera. "Yeah, he had a nightmare."

"He goes into your room when he has a nightmare?"

"Me or Brandon." She shrugged. "Brandon's out, and mom hates it when he goes in there."

"That's sweet."

"No it's not."

"That is really sweet." He insisted. "Beca Mitchell you are a softie. Admit it."

"I'm not." She repeated her denial, shaking her head slightly. "I just don't want him coming in and out all night and waking me up every five minutes."

"So he'll be there all night."

"I was going to put him back in his bed when he fell asleep, I guess I fell asleep first."

"I woke you up?" He queried, before checking the time himself. "Damn, I didn't check the time."

"Honestly, it's a good thing." She reassured him. "If mom had got up and found him in here she'd have freaked out. She's real big on kids sleeping in their own beds, no matter how young and scared they are. It's one of the things she and dad used to disagree on when Brandon and I were little. They'd always argue over it in the morning when they thought I was still asleep."

"What about his dad?"

"He actually agrees with mom, I guess they work in that way."

"But you inherited your dad's softie gene?"

"Shut up."

"I thought you said you and Alex weren't close?"

"We're not." Beca confirmed. "Doesn't mean I'm going to leave him all alone when he's scared." She glanced down at her sleeping brother again. "You know he was asking for you earlier?"

"Really?"

"Yep. Wasn't interested in Brandon and I at all."

"I knew I liked that kid." He smiled. "Hey, I'm sorry we didn't get round to this sooner. My family have been pretty full on since I got back."

"It's okay. They missed you."

"And I miss you."

"It hasn't even been a day."

"A day too long." He shrugged. "What have you been doing since you got back?"

"Harry had to go back to work, so I had to stay with Alex." She let out an irritated sigh. "That's probably all I'm going to do for the next week. Mom's already talking about pulling Alex out of daycare for the week."

"Have you told her not to?"

"No point. She'd do it anyway. It's not as if I have anything else to do."

"Not meeting up with any old friends?"

"I kept in touch with one person from high school, and he's spending the first month of his summer in Fiji."

"We should go there someday."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"When we're out of college we're going to have these things called jobs. Might get in the way of us jumping on a plane to Fiji." She watched him carefully as a grin slowly made it's way onto his features. "What?"

"You just said that like you believe we'll still be together after college."

"You've always said we will..." She cut off, biting her lip. "You do still think so, right?"

He laughed, nodding. "Yeah, it's just nice hearing you say it."

"It's not a big deal."

"Yeah it is." He was watching her carefully, and she couldn't help but smile at his attentiveness. "Is it good to be home?"

Beca shrugged, unsure how to answer. She was kind of indifferent to it. "It's kind of just... normal. You?"

He nodded. "It's good. Heather has big plans for the two of you when you're here. She's been running it all by me."

"Like what?"

"You'll have to wait and see, I promised her I wouldn't say anything." He smiled. "She's really looking forward to meeting you. Everyone is."

"Mom's already started asking questions about you." Beca admitted. "I thought she might give it a day, you know? But apparently not."

"That's just mom stuff." Jesse laughed. "Mine's the same."

She smiled, giving a slight nod, her gaze shifting briefly to confirm that her younger brother was still asleep. "She was never really this interested before I left for college though." _Nobody was_ she added silently, knowing he'd do all he could to dispute that if he heard it.

"She probably just missed you."

"Maybe." Beca looked down, playing with her fingers for a few seconds before facing him again. "It's not like I was out of her life, though. She could have already asked all of this stuff and she didn't."

"Is she a face to face communication kind of person?" He queried.

"She's not really a communication person any more. That stopped years ago." Beca let out a sigh. "I wish you had known her how she used to be. Before... everything."

"What was she like?"

Beca hesitated for a moment, pondering the question. "She used to be fun. Before she and my dad split up, the four of us used to do everything together. I never really needed anyone else. She always had those parent moments, you know, that kids hate but parents insist on, but we used to talk about everything, we'd just sit for hours and talk. I was so little that most of the stuff we talked about didn't really matter, but it was nice. After the divorce she had less time, when she wasn't fighting with my dad or meeting with lawyers, she was at work or down at Brandon's school because he'd got into another fight. Then everything happened and she got really distant. It's been that way ever since."

Jesse let out a sigh, shooting her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry, Beca."

"It happens, right?" She tried brushing it off, knowing there was no chance of him buying it. "People change."

"That doesn't make it fair."

"Life isn't fair."

"I think you've had more than your share of unfairness." He decided, watching her fidgeting on the screen in front of him. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"I miss you more."

She rolled her eyes. "You're such a weirdo."


	10. Chapter 10

" _You better not be moody at my party tomorrow."_

 _Beca glanced at her friend, faking a smile. "I'm fine."_

" _You've been sad since Monday." Cassidy claimed, continuing with her work. "You're always sad when we come back to school."_

" _I just don't like school."_

" _Since when?"_

" _Since always."_

" _Since your dad moved away." The blonde decided, finally looking up to hand Beca the scissors she had been using. "Why don't you just live with him if you hate coming back so much?"_

" _I don't hate coming back." Beca sighed, taking the object and beginning to carefully cut around the pictures on her own sheet. "It's just..."_

" _Are you sure you should be using those?" Cassie gestured towards the scissors, her tone questioning. "You have all those cuts on your fingers. Did you do that with scissors?"_

 _Beca shook her head. "No, it's just..."_

" _How'd you get hurt then?"_

" _It doesn't matter."_

 _Cassidy watched her for a moment. "Okay, just don't be moody tomorrow."_

"And on our last evening of moody, mopey 'I miss my boyfriend' Beca..."

"Shut up!" Beca interrupted, pushing away the camera her older brother had shoved in her face. "You're not funny."

"I'm capturing the moment." He claimed, attempting to move her hand out of the way. "After tonight you're not going to be moody Beca any..." He cut off when she pushed the camera out of his hand, listening to the light thud as it hit the table. "If that's broken..."

"You'll get over it."

"It was expensive..."

"You were asking for it."

"Pointing out that you're moody isn't..."

"Mom, tell Brandon to stop winding me up."

"Brandon, leave your sister alone." Came her voice from the kitchen and Beca smirked at her brother.

"Mom, tell Beca to stop breaking my stuff,"

"Beca, stop breaking your brother's stuff."

It was Brandon's turn to smirk, and the two continued to stare at each other until another voice cut into the tension. "It's great to have you two home." They both turned to their stepfather, watching as he sat across from them at the table. "I have missed the noise. So much fun. Some advice, though, Brandon, things are less likely to get broken if you don't antagonise your sister, and Beca, Brandon is less likely to wind you up if you stop being so easy to wind up."

"She'll always be easy to wind up."

"Then your stuff will always get broken."

"Do you break Jesse's stuff when he winds you up?" Brandon queried, suggestion in his tone. "Please take that both ways."

"Do you want to die?"

"Are you hearing this, Harry?" Brandon turned back to their stepfather. "She's threatening me. In your home. And after you were kind enough to let her boyfriend come and stay. Threatening your only son in your own home."

"You're not my only son."

"You object to that but not to what he just said to me?!"

"You're an adult, Beca, what you get up to is your business."

"So he can't say that to me!"

"You can choose not to answer."

"This conversation seems to have veered out of control pretty quickly." Eleanor put in, leaning in the doorway. "And adult or not, what she gets up to is my business." She watched them for a second. "Brandon can you go and get your brother?"

"Someone's in trouble..." Brandon commented as he quickly left the room, heading up the stairs.

Eleanor moved forward, taking the seat that he had vacated. "I know you're an adult..."

"Mom!"

"Beca, listen to me." She was determined, and Beca knew there was no point in trying to prevent her saying what she wanted to say. It just needed to be waited out. "I know you're an adult, and I know I have always been pretty relaxed with you growing up, but Alex is still a child, and if you and your boyfriend are going to be doing anything he shouldn't see, lock the door."

She frowned. That was not what she had been expecting. "We won't... I mean, we're not..."

"For your brother's sake."

"I'm not an idiot, Mom." Beca complained. "And I really don't want to talk to you about this."

"We've talked about it before."

"Don't remind me."

"You understand?"

"Yes!" The young brunette insisted. "Just please stop talking."

"Fine." Eleanor sighed. "I just wanted to make sure it was covered before the Robertsons arrive."

"What?"

"The Robertsons." She repeated. "They should be here soon."

"Why?"

"They're our friends, Beca." Harry reminded her. "Did you think they stopped coming when you went off to college?"

"No, I just..." Beca cut off. "No one told me."

"Brandon said he'd mention it." Eleanor shrugged, looking over at her husband. "He didn't?"

"I guess not." Harry stood up, pushing in the chair he had just vacated. "I'd better get back to the kitchen. Wouldn't want dinner burning."

"I left the glasses on the side." Eleanor nodded to him as he left the room, turning back to her daughter. "It's one night, it won't kill you to play nice." She paused. "They've been looking forward to seeing you and your brother, it's been a while. Don't you think it'll be nice to see Cassidy, too?"

"We haven't been friends for years."

"Then now is the perfect time to sort it out."

"I've managed fine without her for a long time now."

Eleanor sighed. "I thought you were doing better."

"What?"

"Brandon tells me you have friends in college as well as Jesse. I thought that maybe you weren't struggling to let people in so much, that maybe fixing things with your dad had helped you."

"She betrayed my trust, mom." Beca insisted, frowning when a knock on the front door made her mother stand up. "There's no coming back from that."

 **-SH-**

" _So I'm thinking tomorrow we'll get a hold of some beer and go up to the spot."_

" _How are you planning on doing that, Kyle?" Cassidy queried, her eyes narrowed. "You know many people that will sell beer to a bunch of fourteen year olds? We're underage."_

" _There are ways, Cass." He smirked, nudging her shoulder. "There's always a way."_

 _Cassidy turned to her friend linking arms with the silent brunette. "What do you think, Bec? You up for it?"_

" _Sounds dumb." Beca shrugged, turning away from the group. She hadn't really been in the mood for socialising for some time._

" _Should have known she'd have a problem with it." Kyle shot back, a hint of irritation in his tone. "She has a problem with everything." He nudged Cassidy's shoulder again. "Just come without her."_

" _I don't really want to do that." The blonde admitted. "And my dad would probably figure out something was up if I did anyway."_

" _Come on!" The boy complained, briefly glancing at Beca. "She's so boring, I don't get why you hang around with her so much."_

" _Back off." Cassidy demanded, her calm demeanour changing. "She's been going through some stuff recently. You wouldn't want to either if you were her."_

 _Beca pulled away from her friend, moving away from the group at a quick pace, her arms crossed over her chest as if the action could protect her from the anger and hurt. She swung round when she heard Cassidy's recognisable footsteps behind her. "I can't believe you!"_

" _Are you okay?"_

" _I told you that in confidence and you just told him everything. It'll be around the whole school by lunch!"_

"Beca, this is stupid."

She restrained herself from letting out a frustrated groan at the sound of the voice at her bedroom door. After managing to avoid conversation with her all dinner, she had hoped she would have escaped the prospect all together when she had managed to escape upstairs. She turned in her chair, looking the blonde in the eye for the first time that evening, remaining silent.

"You can't keep avoiding me." Cassidy claimed, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her. She sat at the end of Beca's bed, maintaining a small distance between them. "I was stupid, I get that. I shouldn't have brought it up, but we were fourteen, Bec, and he never figured it out. No one ever figured out what happened, even with the rumours."

Beca's eyes narrowed, but she still didn't say anything, shaking her head in disbelief before turning back around. She heard movement behind her, and assumed her unwanted guest was approaching her again, growing curious when that didn't happen.

"I get that it upset you." Her voice seemed further away, but Beca resisted the urge to turn again to see where she had got to. "But I didn't even do anything wrong. I was defending you."

"I didn't need defending." Beca turned back, standing up and realising the blonde was across the room from her, her back to her as she studied the variety of pictures on the wall by the door. Pictures of the two of them as children, of Beca and her brothers, an old high school class schedule that she had never taken down. An invitation to a birthday party, Cassidy's 8th, if Beca remembered correctly, and it's most recent additions, two pictures, one of her and Amy shortly after their winning performance, and the other a candid shot of she and Jesse that Stacie had taken before either of them had had the chance to object. Beca rarely took anything off of that board, had always insisted that her mother work around it whenever she was set on redecorating the house. It was a collage of her life, a reminder of who she was, and who she had become.

"I know." Cassidy admitted, lightly shrugging. "I wanted to, though. I was fourteen and my best friend was being given a hard time. What would you have done if it was me he was treating like that?"

Beca remained silent for a second, considering the question. She'd never really thought about it before, and she knew she didn't really need to. "I guess I'd have done the same."

Cassidy gave a brief nod, and her concentration on the board in front of her began to unnerve Beca, unsure what she could be so focused on.

She stepped forward, slowly making her way across the room, standing close enough to see the board while maintaining what she considered a reasonable distance from the woman she had once considered her best friend. She found herself beginning to question what Jesse would say if she told him about the situation. What advice he would give her, whether or not he'd help her see the situation more clearly. Somehow she knew he would.

She followed Cassidy's gaze, her eyes falling to a picture of the two of them when they were ten. They were both smiling at the camera, their heads resting on Cassidy's dog, sitting between them. It had only been a brief moment, the Labrador had taken off mere seconds after it had been taken. Beca knew it wasn't the dog that had caught the attention of the blonde, though. It was the gash on the small brunette's collarbone, the one she had been asked about later that day. The question that had caused her to tell the other girl everything.

"I did do something wrong." Cassidy stated, reaching out and lightly pulling the picture off of the board. She turned it so that the image was facing Beca. "That day. That day when you told me and you swore me to secrecy." She cut off, turning the picture around, studying it again before placing it back where it had originally been. "I shouldn't have listened. I should have told your mom. I should have told my mom. I should have told somebody." She let out a sad sigh, turning back to the brunette. "But I was ten, you were my best friend and a promise is a promise. To this day I have never told anyone what happened. What was happening. I'm sorry for that."

Beca glanced down, choosing not to answer. Of all the anger she felt for the girl in front of her that she had held onto for so long, none of it had ever been because she'd kept her promise, that she hadn't told when they now both knew she should have.

"I was worried that if I said anything, you'd never speak to me again. Guess I should have just risked it. Not as if that outcome would have come about that much sooner."

"I shouldn't have put you in that position." Beca stepped back, moving back to her desk, feeling the blonde's eyes on her as she did so. "Sorry."

"This isn't about what position you put me in." Cassidy pointed out, taking the moment to follow her. She sat on the desk, something had always done when they were kids and still friends. "It's about the position you were in, the position you never should have been in, because that's what really happened between us, right? It wasn't that I defended you, that I said what I thought would get Kyle to back off, it's about what happened to you. It's about that woman taking everything out of you, taking all of the trust you ever had away from you." Her voice softened. "I'm not the enemy. I never was."

"I know." Beca's admittance was barely audible, but she knew it had been heard when Cassidy gave a weak smile. It didn't really matter, it didn't change anything. She'd always known that Cassidy hadn't caused her pain, but she'd still been the reason their classmates had figured out that something was wrong. How else would they have even heard rumours about what really happened?

They were interrupted before either could continue to speak, the sound of an incoming skype call, and Beca felt her mood instantly change upon seeing her boyfriend's name on the screen. She answered the call almost immediately, smiling at the sight in front of her. "What are you doing, weirdo?"

The camera on his end moved, and he came into focus, a grin spread across his face. "Just proving to you that my bags are packed. After your doubts as to my packing skills I thought it was necessary."

"Dude you literally told me you packed those last week."

"I did, wanted to make sure you knew I hadn't unpacked them."

Cassidy shifted beside her, briefly causing Beca's focus to change. "I never thought you had."

"Just checking." His brow furrowed following his words, and he leaned in closer to the screen. "Bec, you have a blonde standing next to you. Are you aware of this?"

Beca let out a laugh. "I am."

"Hi." Cassidy nodded briefly, gesturing towards the door. "I'll see you around, my parents probably want to leave anyway and they're my ride."

Beca nodded, listening for the door to open and close again before continuing her conversation. "You're definitely ready for tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Jesse assured her. "I've been ready since before we left Barden. Who was that?"

"Just Cassidy."

"Cassidy?" He queried. "Childhood friend Cassidy that you stopped speaking to?"

Beca tilted her head, her eyes narrowed in confusion. "When did I tell you about her?"

"Not you." He elaborated. "Your brother mentioned her when we had dinner at your dad's house that time. You were outside with Sheila and he started talking about you when you were a kid."

"You never told me that."

"Didn't think it was a big deal." Jesse shrugged. "It's not as if he was telling embarrassing stories or anything that would upset you. If it was anything huge I would have mentioned it."

"Weird that it would come up, though." Beca decided. "What did he say?"

"Just that he hadn't been introduced to a friend of yours since Cassidy and that you didn't speak to her any more."

"Oh." Beca had to admit she was relieved that her brother hadn't filled her boyfriend in on the details. As far as she was concerned it was something she should tell him herself, and it was the sort of thing she didn't think she could properly explain to him without telling him everything. "That's probably true. I didn't really bring friends home much."

He smiled. "I miss you."

"You'll be here tomorrow."

"I'll stop missing you when I'm there."

"Nerd." She laughed, although she had to admit, that just the image of him on a screen wasn't really enough for her either. "I miss you, too."

"I'll be there tomorrow." He joked, his grin giving away the attempt at humour, before repeating the last word. "Tomorrow."

 **-SH-**

" _Dadddddy!" Beca shouted across the airport's arrivals lounge. "I thought you wouldn't be back!"_

 _The man's smile lit up his face as he lifted the almost eight-year-old into his arms."I was never going to miss your birthday, kiddo."_

" _Where were you?" Beca queried, her eyes narrowed as she prepared to interrogate her father. "On a plane means far."_

" _I was in Georgia."_

" _Why?"_

" _Business."_

" _That's boring." She rolled her eyes. "You're my favourite daddy, daddy."_

" _You're my favourite girl, Bec."_

" _What about me?" They both turned at the voice, her question sounding like a joke._

" _You'll have to make do with second best, hun." He answered, his grin never faltering. "Thanks for picking her up, Frankie."_

 _She plastered on a smile. "No problem, babe."_

She felt the corners of her mouth beginning to form a smile the second she saw him, a mortifying grin taking over her features in less than a second.

"Jess!"

He looked up from his phone, and his expression soon matched hers as any last anxieties she had been holding on to about his visit fizzled out. He approached her fast, and she was in his arms before either of them could say a word.

"This feels so good."

He'd mumbled the words into her hair, just loud enough so that she could still hear, and she rolled her eyes, unable to form the words to make an expected snarky retort about his cheesiness. She had to admit, to herself at least, that he was right, it did feel good.

She pulled back slightly, just enough to allow her to initiate a kiss, a move she could tell initially surprised him. It wasn't something she did that often, putting herself out there still made her uncomfortable, so she usually waited for him to make the first move, waited until he gave her something to respond to, but as their relationship progressed, she realised, so did she.

After a couple of moments, she took a step back, taking him in, the grin on his face still matching her own, the familiar bags by his feet, the softness of his eyes as he watched her. She reached out, connecting their hands and tugging on his, reaching down to pick up one of his bags. Her eyes narrowed curiously when she realised how light it was, but the look of confusion was soon replaced when she saw him heave the other bag into his free hand.

"You knew I'd pick one up, didn't you?" She accused. "You packed one light specifically because you knew I would pick it up."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He was still grinning, but this grin was different, it was one she knew well, the mischievous one she had seen many times before.

"You so do." She scowled. "I am not some weak little girl, Jesse."

He let out a laugh. "I know, and I knew you would pick that one up because it was the one you went to first every time you saw my luggage at Barden." She bit her lip, staying silent, surprised that he was admitting it so soon. "I didn't pack it light because I think you're weak. I packed it light because it just feels wrong to have you carry my stuff around. You're my girlfriend, not my servant."

"You realise that means you can't carry my stuff either, right?" She smirked. "You're my boyfriend, not my servant."

"I consent to being your servant though." He decided. "So you don't have to worry about that."

"So if I'm cool with it you'll be fine with me carrying your stuff."

"If it's what you want to do, sure."

"And there was me thinking you were going all macho on me."

He laughed again, and she couldn't help but fall into the sound. She had missed it. "Never."

She led him to her car, tossing his bags onto the back seat before sliding in, her keys remaining in her hand as he climbed in beside her, an inquisitive look on his face as he did. "What?"

"This is the first time I've ever seen you drive."

"I'll try not to traumatise you."

"Do you often traumatise people with your driving?"

"Just my family." She started the car, pulling out of the spot with ease. "Except Alex. I'm not cruel."

"How is the little guy?"

"Ecstatic that you're going to be there when he gets home." She answered, trying to remain focused on the road. "What did you do to him anyway? Some kind of voodoo?"

He let out a chuckle. "I'm just good with kids, I guess."

"Please do not say that in front of my mother. She's already started telling Brandon how cool she thinks it would be for Alex to grow up with a niece of nephew. Like, no, that's not normal."

"It's normal for some families."

"Dude, no!" She exclaimed, risking a glance at him. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"I mean, it's not normal for me." He semi-agreed with her. "I wouldn't want it, but it is normal for some families."

She narrowed her eyes, still staring at the road ahead of her. "You got any same age aunt or uncle I should know about?"

"None." He raised his hands in surrender. "That I know of."

"You know your grandparents, right?"

"Not exactly." He shrugged. "My dad was raised by his grandparents. His parents, my grandparents, both took off when he was young. His mom when he was about 2 and then his dad when he was I think, 6."

"That sucks."

"He's never really let it bother him. I don't get it, really, but he says his grandparents were the best he could ask for." He looked down for a second before turning to her, taking in her reaction before continuing. "We used to go to their house when I was little. Grandma, she made the best hot chocolate, she was an athlete in high school, grandpa grew vegetables, he'd let me help him sometimes, and he loved music. He died when I was ten. Grandma lived with us for a while but she needed more help than we could give her, so dad found a great place not far from our house."

She turned to him, and for the first time he realised the car had come to a stop, the keys no longer in the ignition. "They sound great." She glanced towards the house. "This is it." She let out a sigh, looking at the other car in the driveway. "Looks like my mom's home." She stepped out of the car, and he followed her, both of them grabbing a bag from the back seat. "You sure you're ready for this?"

He nodded. "It's going to be okay."

She gave a reluctant nod, taking his hand as she had done at the airport, and leading him into the house, only stopping and dropping his bag to unlock the door. "Mom!"

"You're here!"

Beca turned to her left, frowning at the sight she saw on the coffee table through the wide open living room door. "Mom, what are you doing?" She dropped Jesse's bag at the bottom of the stairs, gesturing for him to do the same before slowly stepping towards her mother. "Mom?"

Eleanor stood up, holding out a hand for Jesse. "You must be Jesse, I'm Beca's mom." Jesse went to respond but she was too excited to hold onto a conversation, pulling away from the handshake quickly and returning to her seat on the couch. "Look at what I've found, Beca. All of our old family photos. I haven't looked at these in years. I think I still have that dress somewhere, you know."

"Hell." Beca stated, looking at the picture her mother was holding up. "I am in hell."


End file.
